I’m Quitting My Job After Maternity Leave. How Do I Tell My Employer?
Three simple rules to follow if you’ve decided not to go back to work after maternity leave.
Source: Christina Morillo
I once had someone ask me if maternity leave felt like vacation. ‘Did you enjoy your time off?’ The question made me laugh. Then it made me angry. Taking care of a newborn while sleep-deprived and trying to make sense of your new life, role, and identity is not a vacation. And it should not be considered ‘time off’ from anything.
Maternity leave is such a distinct moment in time, where mothers feel bliss, loneliness, love, exhaustion, and joy. And that’s just within the span of five minutes.
For me, the emotion I felt more than anything during maternity leave was a sense of being rushed. I was so worried about enjoying every single moment that I often didn’t realize that the magic is in the chaos of it all.
So when I decided (with two under two at home) that I wanted to leave my full-time role and instead start flexible consulting, it was liberating and also terrifying.
Was I giving up my career? Did this mean I wasn’t ambitious anymore? What would my bosses think? Would my co-workers talk about it behind my back? Should I feel lucky or guilty? Or both? All of these questions are normal. And for me, taking that terrifying leap has been the best decision I’ve made as a mother.
If you’re on maternity leave and don’t want to go back to work full-time, here are three rules to follow when having those tough conversations with your employer.
Meet the Experts
Frances Cushway: Founder of The Maternity Coach, an organization focused on guiding parents through the transition in and out of maternity leave.
Jessica Purdy: CEO and founder of FIC Human Resource Partners, a company that fosters inclusive work cultures.
How to Tell Your Employer You’re Resigning After Maternity Leave
Be Early
You can’t predict or calculate when in your maternity leave you might start to feel like you’re not interested in going back to your job in the same capacity as before. It is OK to come to the conclusion that going back to work is not for you right now. But you should be sensitive to the fact that your employer is running a business—and as soon as you know you’re not coming back, you should start the process of having those conversations.
It’s OK to come to the conclusion that going back to work is not for you right now. But you should be sensitive to the fact that your employer is running a business…
“Send a formal resignation letter to HR. Then call your manager directly—don’t let them be blindsided by an HR notice. Follow-up with an offer to meet in person later to discuss transition plans. And finally, speak to key colleagues individually about your decision rather than sending a mass email,” says Jessica Purdy at FIC Human Resource Partners, a company that fosters inclusive work cultures.
Take into account anything that might be in your contract about leaving your role during maternity leave, or what that could mean for your benefits and pay. And include a potential transition plan along with your resignation letter—showing that you’re proactively thinking about how to make this easy for your employer will go a long way when it comes to maintaining relationships.
Be Honest
With yourself and also your employer.
“Becoming a mother is most likely the biggest developmental transition we go through as a woman after adolescence…The body and hormonal changes we go through while pregnant and after giving birth can have a big impact on how we feel and how we see ourselves fitting into the world,” says Frances Cushway, the founder of The Maternity Coach. If you’re on maternity leave and feeling anxious about going back to work, take the time to be honest with yourself about what situation will make you feel most comfortable emotionally and financially.
Be Confident
There is no shame in making this decision. In fact, there is a lot of freedom. What’s more, this career pause can actually be a great time for you to focus on what type of work you might want to do in the future.
“The important thing to remember is that you were a different person when you made those plans. You made those plans based on how you were feeling at the time. But we really have no idea how we will feel when we become a mom for the first (or even second…) time and it’s perfectly normal to change your mind and want to stay at home with your children,” says Cushway.
This career pause can be a great time to focus on what type of work you might want to do in the future.
If you’re nervous, practice the conversation with your partner or a friend, or even alone. Remember that you’re making this decision for yourself and your children, so it doesn’t need to be justified to anyone outside of that circle.
And along the way, don’t forget to be proud of yourself. It’s very easy to silence those voices and feelings that you might want to take a pause from work—but if you’re listening to yourself and making this decision for you…that’s something to celebrate.
5 Quick Tips for Acing the Conversation With Your Manager
Start the conversation by saying ‘thank you.’ And try to avoid the phrase ‘I’m sorry.’ You should be grateful to your employer and you should not be ashamed of what you’re doing. Those two emotions can exist at once.
“Frame this as a personal decision about changed priorities, not dissatisfaction with the job,” says Purdy.
If you’ve had an ‘aha’ moment while on maternity leave that led you to this decision, share it! The more you can help your manager take a step into your shoes and understand your thought process, the better.
Be open to different options. “Ask about the possibility of a sabbatical or a longer period of unpaid leave,” says Cushway.
Don’t burn bridges. “Be respectful and show understanding that this might be a big surprise (and disappointment) to your manager and colleagues,” according to Cushway. If you leave gracefully, the relationships you’ve built could be ones that help you find future work and remain in your network for life.
Read more
How to Decide Whether Or Not to Return to Work After Maternity Leave
FAQs
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To handle this conversation professionally, consider notifying your employer early and directly. Send a formal resignation letter to HR, then have a personal conversation with your manager, offering a potential transition plan. Being proactive and respectful helps maintain positive relationships for the future.
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Review any contractual obligations or benefits tied to your return, such as pay or leave policies, to understand how resigning might affect your finances. Also, consider the emotional and financial impact, and have a clear plan for managing this transition both personally and professionally.
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Absolutely. Taking a career pause can provide time to focus on your family, reassess your goals, and decide on future work options. This break can be a valuable period for personal growth and exploration, allowing you to return to work on your own terms when ready.
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Start by expressing gratitude for the opportunities you’ve had and avoid apologizing. Frame your decision as a personal choice based rather than job dissatisfaction. Be open to discussing options like sabbaticals or unpaid leave if you’re considering other arrangements.
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Leaving gracefully can help preserve relationships with colleagues and supervisors. Offer a transition plan, thank your team for their support, and remain professional in all communications. Staying in touch on LinkedIn or through email can keep your network active for future opportunities.
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It’s important to assess any financial implications, such as loss of benefits or paid leave, before deciding to resign. Consider how this choice aligns with your long-term goals and if a gradual return to work or consulting may help bridge the transition financially.
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A career break provides valuable time to reconnect with personal goals, explore new interests, and focus on family. Many moms use this period to gain clarity on the type of work they want to pursue in the future.
