This Simple Streaming Habit Made Me Instantly Happier as a Stay-at-Home Mom

The content stay-at-home moms consume can affect their happiness. Here are podcasts, Ted Talks, audiobooks, and more worth listening to.

In the pursuit of infusing more fun and lightheartedness into my days as a stay-at-home mom, I once tried a very unscientific but delightful experiment for one week. I actively chose to read and listen to happy things—instead of over-consuming the news or scrolling social media mindlessly. Yes, I made sure to stay informed on the less-than-pleasant state of the world. But I managed to do so while electing for a more joyful background track to all the little moments of the day, like getting ready in the morning or prepping the kids’ meals.

A few days in, I discovered I was having fun and feeling energized in the very ordinary moments of washing my face or scrubbing the dishes. This switch to lighter content also got me out of worry loops and let me savor small moments of peace and ease throughout the day. Curious why such a simple trick would have such a powerful outcome, I turned to Angela Amias, a licensed clinical social worker, who said there’s a reason we tend to feel like it’s a struggle to stay positive.

“Our brains have something called the negativity bias, which basically means we’re wired to pay more attention to the negative than to the positive,” says Amias. “This has obvious evolutionary benefits in terms of survival. [But] we haven’t evolved as humans to live in a worldwide community, with instant access to tragedies and crises all around the world.” So, when we reflexively flip on the news or doom-scroll social media in our downtime, Amias says we’re only reinforcing our innate bias to pay more attention to the bad rather than the good.

To push back against this, I was determined to consume content that I knew would bring me joy. So I chose to listen to Abby Jimenez's third book, Life Is Too Short before bed, Hillary Kerr's Second Life podcast during my walk to school pick-ups, or The Happy Beats Spotify playlist whenever I was getting meals ready or hanging around with the kids. All three are examples of high vibe content that made me smile.

When we reflexively flip on the news or doom-scroll social media, we’re only reinforcing our innate bias to pay more attention to the bad rather than the good.

Now compare this to my twenties after breakups, for example, when I would indulge my sadness by playing Snow Patrol and Adele on repeat. Music, movies, books, magazines—whatever is your content of preference—have an incredible power to unlock emotion within us. Though we have to be willing to shift our mood. Perhaps in my twenties, I was really just craving that good cry, and even if I listened to every single one of Jimenez's happy-go-lucky rom-com books, I would still be crying. 

Meet the Expert

• Angela Amias: Licensed clinical social worker in Iowa City, and Director of Clinical Education for the Institute for Trauma Informed Relationships.

The Content We Consume Matters

Psychologist Amit Goldenberg, an assistant professor at Harvard Business School, and the lead author on a 2019 Stanford study about how emotions are influenced, found that what we choose to surround ourselves with can help us commit to how we want to feel. "It seems that the best way to regulate your emotions is to start with the selection of your environment. If you don't want to be angry today, one way to do that is to avoid angry people," Goldenberg said. However, he added the caveat, "The degree to which people said they were motivated to feel or not feel certain emotions predicted how much they would be influenced when they were exposed to emotions from other group members."

… the best way to regulate your emotions is to start with the selection of your environment.

I don't think I can rid my social circles of people who hold real emotions. But in the areas of my life I can amend—content being an easy one—I'm going to keep choosing joy. And it’s this intention that makes all the difference, says Amias—especially when the news you’d otherwise be consuming is negative in nature. “Being more intentional about focusing on pleasure, joy, and connection in your daily life and making a point to appreciate the good helps buffer the effects of upsetting events happening on the world stage,” Amias adds.

The Get Happy List

Ready to bring a serotonin boost to your day-to-day? We tapped the Mother Untitled community to share go-to songs, books, podcasts, activities, and more that reliably elevate the mood in your homes.

1. Want to be Happy? Be Grateful

Clocking in under 14 minutes, this Ted Talk—given by Benedictine Monk David Steindl-Rast—brims with inspiration for finding the simple moments of gratitude in even the most ordinary day.

2. Aparna Nancherla’s Stand-Up Comedy

If you want to shake free of stress and improve your mood, science suggests laughter is the key. Not only does a good laugh disrupt your body’s responses to stress, but it also releases endorphins in the process. Of course, humor is deeply subjective, but for many, the witty Aparna Nancherla may do the trick.

3. Nobody Panic Podcast

For some lighthearted fun, the women of the Nobody Panic podcast offer an undeniably strange, insightful, and entertaining take. As the show notes say, “Each week, Stevie Martin and Tessa Coates tackle life's big, small, fun, and sometimes scary questions with the help of experts and special guests because we're all in this together, guys. So nobody panic.”

4. The Happiest Songs, According to Science

A Dutch neuroscientist applied his expertise to something that’s pure fun—creating a list of the happiest songs of all time using data and analytics. His selections include top hits from Queen, Abba, Cyndi Lauper, and more.

5. The Finnish Way (Audiobook)

The Finnish Way is a delightful read that’s equal parts empowering, hopeful, and illuminating. Written by Katja Pantzar, a journalist who suffers from “bone-crushing depression,” the book is “an engaging and practical guided tour of the simple and nature-inspired ways that Finns stay happy and healthy.”

6. Dress Fancy: The Podcast About Dressing Up

While the Dress Fancy podcast is no longer in production, treat yourself to eight seasons of what the show calls, “A smart, playful and interrogative take on contemporary fashion and its context—weaving together sartorial and social history to tell powerful, surprising stories of identity.”

7. Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness, by Ingrid Lee

Purchase Joyful and you’ll find it takes up permanent residence on your nightstand. Author Susan Cain says “This book has the power to change everything! Writing with depth, wit, and insight, Ingrid Fetell Lee shares all you need to know in order to create external environments that give rise to inner joy."

Read More:

How to Find More Joy in Motherhood, According to a Therapist