How I’m Balancing At-Home Motherhood & Part-Time Work
Embracing a “blend over balance” mindset when it comes to motherhood and part-time work encourages moms to factor themselves into their day-to-day.
For so long, I have lived by a hyper-structured schedule that doesn’t always leave room for balancing motherhood and everything else. It’s how I feel confident I can accomplish everything that feels important to me. But in an attempt to do everything on my to-do list—like clocking quality time with each child, a precise number of hours on Mother Untitled, and follow through on set routines and rhythms for family—I risk losing the time to do what I intuitively need or want to prioritize on any given day.
On a recent panel, my friend, Elisa Marshall, founder of Maman, passed along a piece of advice that helped her navigate the early days of starting a business and tending to family. She said she embraced an idea she coined “blend over balance.”
The idea of balance suggests equity across parenting, home, marriage, work, or family, which anyone can attest does not exist. At some point, something naturally has to give, often making people feel like they are not doing enough. The concept of blend suggests that it’s less about checking the box on various roles to fulfill. Instead, the blend reminds us that we are whole people with a variety of things we care about. Personally, the blend implies a constant evolution of how it all fits together.
The idea of balance suggests equity across parenting, home, marriage, work, or family, which anyone can attest does not exist. At some point, something naturally has to give, often making people feel like they are not doing enough.
With this idea in mind, I’m trying to loosen my grip on the block scheduled week and leave room for more intuitive scheduling. I’ll try and swap the sense of duty for a stance of connecting with areas of importance to me. That shift may mean dropping my daughter off with her grandparents on a Wednesday afternoon even though it’s our scheduled quality time, because I’m craving exercise, or the inverse—forgoing a scheduled work time to lay and read with her. It could also mean typing out a post as I watch Yellowstone with my husband, leaving room for an overdue lunch with my mother. It’s a bit more smudgy than I’m used to, but it affords more wiggle room.
Wherever you are in your blended state, I hope you take with you this month some encouragement to mix it up, let go of the expectation to do it by someone else’s equation, and lean into what’s right for you and your family.
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Editor’s note: A version of this story first appeared in 2021.
