Be Confident—An Actual How to by Our Resident Career Coach

by Megan Martin-Strickland

The most critical key to success in the job search or career growth process is confidence in yourself. But “be confident” sounds like one of those things that’s easier said than done. Here’s how to gain trust in yourself.

Doing anything new or outside your comfort zone can cause self-doubt or feelings of imposter syndrome. This is definitely true if you are transitioning into a pause or re-entering the paid workforce after time away, or pivoting into freelance or entrepreneurship.

So, today I’m going to provide a few simple tips to help you gain trust in yourself and own your story.

Adjust your mindset

Carol Dweck, a renowned Stanford psychology professor whose life work has been focused on mindset (though she also teaches courses on personality, motivation, and social development), writes, “the mindset you choose for yourself has a profound impact on how you live your life.” At its core, a growth mindset reframes failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. It also helps develop a love of learning and a gritty, resilient understanding that hard work and dedication will strengthen your abilities. The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset, which is very self-limiting. The good news is you can reframe self-limiting beliefs to enhance your growth mindset and in turn, boost your confidence. 

Pay attention to your self-talk

It is critical to address any self-limiting talk in your head. What is it that you are telling yourself? Are you wavering on accepting a new project or assignment because you’ve never done it before and are certain someone else can do it better? Are you worried that your child’s school has picked the wrong person to run the parent group? Are you nervous about applying to a job because there are a few bullet points in the job description that you have not yet mastered? Begin listening to the self-talk in your head and capture it in a journal so that you can start to change your internal narrative. And you can change the narrative. Research shows that women typically will not apply to a job unless they meet 100 percent of the requirements in the job description, while men will apply if they meet 50 percent of the requirements. Do not let that one missing requirement deter you from applying! 

Research shows that women typically will not apply to a job unless they meet 100 percent of the requirements in the job description, while men will apply if they meet 50 percent of the requirements.

Once you begin capturing these self-limiting thoughts, now it’s time to reframe. For example, if you don’t believe you are an excellent public speaker, reframe that as “I am not a good public speaker yet.” If you think I will never be as good as Sally, reframe that to, “What can I learn from Sally? What skills does she have? Would Sally be willing to be a mentor to me?” Suppose you have a varied career path that includes different roles in different industries that may seem difficult to explain. In that case, the reframe will be that your varied experience brings a diversity of thought, enhanced creativity, and a unique perspective.

Stop worrying about others’ opinions

I left a very stable, steady job at Stanford University after only 10 months to work for a small, start-up consulting firm (ReBoot Accel) to help women lead lives of impact. And let me tell you, I faced doubters, questions, and critical thoughts from some of the people that love me the most. But I knew in my heart I had to try this. I also knew that I wanted to create presentation decks, facilitate workshops, and coach women on how to navigate their careers—none of which I had done before.

I spent six months trying to convince my boss that I could get up in front of a room full of people (many of whom were older and more accomplished) and facilitate an impactful workshop. About month eight, my boss finally gave me a shot, and I absolutely blew it. I couldn’t sleep that night because I felt so horrible. Still, while I was wide awake in the middle of the night, I knew I could either let this crush me or put on my big girl pants, use a growth mindset, and become even more determined to become an impactful presenter and public speaker.

So the next week, I presented again, and then the next, and then the next. And each time, I got better and more comfortable. So if you find something that you feel right in your soul, go for it, and if you stumble (which you will), get back up and try again. Each failure is a learning experience that will make you stronger. \

Focus on the good

Keep a running tally of all your strengths, accomplishments, and superpowers. What is it that you do well? What do you do more effortlessly than other people? Whenever someone compliments you, capture it on a sticky or in your journal and refer back to it often. These little constant sources of inspiration will help in building a positive mindset. 

Choose your community

Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who nourish your growth and successes and help you to be the best version of yourself. On the flip side, if there are toxic people in your life, reduce the time you spend with them—in general, or at least until you get through this career shift juncture in your life. 

Trust your experience

While these are all essential tips to shift your mindset and help increase your overall confidence, if you are at the juncture of embracing a career break or exploring something on the other side, remember that the skills you have gained in your volunteer work and the skills you have gained as a parent (patience, empathy, speaking clearly and authentically) are all incredibly transferable and will be a huge asset to any chapters in your future.  

For more from Megan you can dig in with Reboot Accel or Apres Group.