How I Found the Courage To Downshift My Career for Motherhood

By Hitha Palepu

When it comes to my career, I’ve always been ambitious. Here’s how I found the courage to embrace a career shift to focus on family.

When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be Mr. T.—the well-accessorized wrestler turned member of the A-Team. I liked his jewelry, van, and catchphrases. When I was 12 years old, I wanted to be a pediatric oncologist. I had lost my godfather and my mom’s godmother–both of whom I was very close with—to the disease, and Lurlene McDaniels’ books about teens with fatal diseases also influenced this career goal.

When I was 22, I started my post-college career at Cisco. On the first day of the Sales Associates Program, our class was told that the future CEO of the company may very well be in the room, sitting among us. Like many of my fellow associates, I wanted it to be me.

Since that day, I’ve worn a number of career hats–technology sales, project management, running operations and business development for a pharma startup (and fulfilling my lifelong dream of working with my father), running a charity-focused tech startup (and then closing it), blogging, authoring two books, speaking, investing–and becoming a wife and mother, as well.

I have always been ambitious. The thrill I get from taking an idea into reality fuels my internal fire, and I run to achieve the next milestone immediately after hitting one. The past two years, in particular, have been one for the books–I successfully licensed our lead product at Rhoshan Pharmaceuticals to a commercial partner, wrote and launched my second book, and worked with my dream brand to emcee and moderate a series of culture summits.

All of these accomplishments were a team effort, both inside my home and in my company, and I am grateful for the privilege to work with and support my home team and work teams. And while I am proud of them, they are not what comes to mind when I ask myself what I am most proud of. If I’m being honest, I’m still surprised by the answers.

When I consider all my accomplishments over these past two years, it’s the strength, love, and fun of our family that makes me most proud.

I'm most proud when I watch my sons play together, from building Lego towers to house their cars and Pokemon or playing tag at the playground. I'm most proud when I see my older son curl up in my favorite corner of the couch, snuggle under my favorite blanket, and read a book in the same contorted position that I prefer. I'm most proud when I see my younger son finish a puzzle and squeal “I did it!” with total joy. I still shed a tear of pride when my boys walk into school together, holding hands and looking back and waving at us. Guiding my younger son through toileting with peace and calm (an approach my naive self did not take with my older son) is a top 3 accomplishment not just for the year, but life.

When I consider all the accomplishments over these past two eventful years, it’s the strength, love, and fun of our family that makes me most proud.

It’s time we redefine ‘ambition’

When we think about ambition, it’s still jarring to consider the drive and accomplishment that define the word within the home. Ambition continues to be synonymous with lofty sounding titles, the proverbial corner office on the top floor of a skyscraper, power suits, and wining and dining clients to close a big deal. Ambition will, in many ways, always include these visages. But it’s also being redefined by those who have personified the word and executed it with excellence. Take Serena Williams, for example. 

When asked about parenthood in an August 2022 interview in Time, Williams said, “I think I’m good at it. But I want to explore if I can be great at it.”

These words stopped me cold and, if I’m being honest, they still do. Motherhood has been viewed predominantly as something we survive. The archetypes of modern mothers are still so one dimensional: Stay-at-home parents are viewed as either overwhelmed messes or smug, perfectly coiffed mean girls grown up. Moms who work outside of the home are painted as uninterested and detached from their children, or overwhelmed by the juggle of work and home life. To be great at parenthood–because that’s what the parent wants for themselves–is something we’re only just seeing. If it weren’t for this platform and Serena’s own words, I wonder if I would ever have the courage to admit that I want this for myself, let alone declare it to the world.

I am still the ambitious person that I’ve always been. But just like my ambitious goals have changed over time, so has my own definition of ambition.

In the past, I’ve always raced to the next big goal. What product am I going to license next? How long until I hit the next big subscriber number? When will I speak at that conference? Little has changed about that–I’m still racing towards my next big goal. But now, it’s the goal that is different: my Untitled Chapter.  

I recognize that making the choice to downshift my career and embrace this Untitled Chapter is the ultimate privilege. It’s an even greater one to do so in a phase of parenthood when my children are in school and I’ve found my confidence as a mother. I will continue to use my platform, my time, and my resources to advocate for necessary policies like paid family leave and affordable high-quality childcare, and programs that will eliminate poverty and lift families up. But I will also savor the morning dance parties, the conversations during the walks to and from school and activities, and afternoons dedicated to playing with cars, reading books, helping with homework, and snuggling with them while singing the same lullaby that my parents sang to me.

I am still the ambitious person that I’ve always been. But just like my ambitious goals have changed over time, so has my own definition of ambition. I want to explore if I can be a great mother. I think I can. And I look forward to that new chapter.

Read More:

Redefining Success Was Key To Thriving in My Career Pause

Hitha Palepu is a consummate multi-hyphenate. She is an entrepreneur, author, and speaker. She is the CEO of Rhoshan Pharmaceuticals, whose lead product was acquired by Hyloris Pharmaceuticals. She is the author of We’re Speaking: The Life Lessons of Kamala Harris (Little, Brown Spark) and How To Pack: Travel Smart for Any Trip (Clarkson Potter). Hitha lives in NYC with her husband and two sons.