The Self-Care Swap That *Actually* Eases Stress for At-Home Moms
Far from the consumer-based, prescriptive rituals of yore, true and meaningful self-care is uniquely tailored to you. We tapped an expert to show us the way to replenishing routines that make a difference for at-home moms.
Here’s what no one tells you about parenthood: Raising tiny humans gives you a million chances a day to practice true self-care.
Gone are the days of superficial, bubble bath-based rituals. Today, taking care of yourself means finding joy in the moment, balancing your “productive” energy with more ease and flow, breathing through the tough stuff, and giving yourself a soft place to land when you have all the feelings. It means cultivating conscious care rituals instead of cliché quick fixes.
So, what makes one care ritual “conscious” and another “cliche?” It comes down to mindset and intention. Classic cliché self-care is often prescriptive and one-size-fits-all, like a “relaxing” bubble bath, even if you don’t actually love baths.
On the other hand, conscious care rituals are mindful, done with purpose, and tailored to your needs. For example, if you’re a nature lover, it might mean spending 15 minutes digging in the soil, walking barefoot in the yard, or soaking up sun on the terrace while you catch up on your daily water intake. If you are an extrovert, you might have a conscious care ritual of brunch, coffee, or wine dates with a group of girlfriends every Sunday—even if it’s only by video call.
Conscious care rituals are mindful, done with purpose, and tailored to your needs… They nourish your body, heart, soul, and spirit, and offer relief and resilience.
Conscious care rituals match your unique needs. They nourish your body, heart, soul, and spirit, and offer relief and resilience. Cliche quick fixes are often the most popular trend. They’re often superficial, and fill you with empty emotional calories. You’ll always get the best results from your rituals when you choose mainly—if not only—conscious care.
Why Self-Care Matters in Motherhood
Motherhood is the ultimate environment for us to explore, expand, and evolve ourselves. It’s where we unearth our deepest fears and our greatest strengths. It’s where we have a chance to become who we’re supposed to be—especially if, for the time being, we’re no longer using our careers or titles to define ourselves.
When you have the right care rituals in place, you create a safe, supportive space to find your center, connect with your intuitive wisdom, and make authentic choices with courage. From an intuitive healing perspective, rituals help you balance the task-focused energy that builds and gives, with a replenishing, powerful energy that releases and receives. From a brain science perspective, rituals help you regulate your nervous system to its calmest state, where we can feel safe and social, learn and create, and enjoy the beautiful, messy mom life.
3 Simple Strategies: Self-Care for Moms
If you’re not sure where to start, here are three of my favorite ways you can take care of yourself starting today:
Set aside your care time during nap time or at night
If you’re taking care of kids all day, set aside 15 minutes or more of nourishing care time after they go down to sleep—before the dishes, bills, TV, and other priorities bump you off the list.
Share your care with your kids during the day
This is one of my favorite mantras to teach mamas, because it makes care so practical. When you invite your child into your care rituals, you’re more likely to take care, more often—and your child learns essential stress management life skills through modeling. Think mama-kid yoga, shared book time (they read theirs, you read yours), shared art time, or a dual face mask session. Both parties have fun and enjoy individually, yet together.
Make a sanctuary space with your favorite, soul-filling things
This doesn’t have to be a whole room; it can be a corner, a shelf, even a shoebox (one of my clients made a small sanctuary in her closet—the only quiet place in the house!). Add a special photo, your favorite book, and other treasures. Spend a few moments dreaming there, every[ish] day.
There are endless care rituals to choose from, with unlimited benefits. There is no right or wrong, when it feels right to you. Begin anywhere. But definitely begin.
Read More:
The Best Way To Set Up Your Day as a Stay-At-Home Mom, According to Time Management Coaches
Kelly Newsome Georges is a mother, self-care educator, birth and postpartum doula, and the founder of RitualCare.com. Her programs teach care rituals that help moms feel ready for anything—no matter what life (or their toddler) throws at them.
Editor’s note: A version of this article first appeared in July 2021.
