How to Vacation With Small Kids and Actually Enjoy It
Vacationing with young children means little rest for the weary. Here’s how to reframe the idea of a relaxing family trip so you can actually enjoy yourself.
After days of packing, list-making, and cramming in last-minute work before your out of office message goes up, you’ve finally made it to vacation mode—only to be rewarded with even more work. Time away with little kids can be far from relaxing, as I’ve found out with each sweet new addition to our family, totaling four boys under age seven. Ironically if anyone needs a real vacation, complete with beachside Pina Coladas and hours of relaxing with a mindless novel, it’s parents with little kids. But they are also most likely to be seen scooping sand out of the baby’s mouth who’s eating it by the shovelful (true story) or searching to find the nearest emergency room with a sudden case of swimmer’s ear that leads to midnight screaming (also true).
Basically, it’s parenting on steroids, with an additional expectation to “relax and enjoy yourself.”
Vacations can be harder than home life for numerous reasons that we discount in the name of fun. Kids are immediately thrown off their routine, sometimes up late, sometimes jet-lagged, and always whining. They are in a new environment, where the glass turtle sculpture on the end table seems like a good ball to toss with their siblings, and they aren’t really sure what the rules and expectations are. Finally, parents are distracted, navigating directions and passports, where the next Chick-Fil-A stop is, and whether they should turn around when a favorite binky gets tossed out of the window. Basically, it’s parenting on steroids, with an additional expectation to “relax and enjoy yourself” at the same time.
But it doesn’t have to be a total disaster—not with some expectation tweaks and real-life advice from someone who has lived through a few terrible vacations. Here’s what I wish I knew a few kids ago, that would have saved some tears and stress on many a summer getaway.
5 Tips for a Less Stressful Family Trip
1. Separate the family trip from your real vacation
My new summer sanity plan is to save all year for two out-of-town experiences—one family “trip” and one true, smaller, extended weekend “vacation.” If your budget allows, doing a kids-free weekend as a separate event from your family trip can help you create separate expectations. One is for relaxing yourself, and one is for helping your kids experience travel and new adventures.
Let’s embrace the fact that these two trips don’t often co-exist. To make it work, you may need to shorten the kids’ trip to make some time for an adults-only experience, or cutting costs for a month or two to plan a nearby weekend excursion with just your partner.
2. Make it a trip-long playdate
When a playdate with good friends happens, the kids disappear for a few hours, entertaining themselves in the playroom or backyard with hide-and-seek, freeze tag, and imaginary games. How can we get that magic to happen during a trip? Go with another family you know your kids get along with, ensuring they play with those kids rather than nagging you beach-side for extra goldfish, a suit without sand in it, and more.
Built-in, easy-going friendships also make for lasting memories that help your child have even more fun, which equates to less complaining and more chill time for all. An added bonus is the buddy system in unfamiliar places, where kids can pair up for another layer of safety. Parents can also alternate date nights, watching the other family’s children, so everyone gets some kid-free memories.
3. Vet babysitters ahead of time
If you are alone on a trip with your children, or if it’s just you and your partner, you can use trusted services and parenting Facebook groups in the area to research and vet babysitters ahead of time (sites like Sitter City and Care.com are good places to start). If you aren’t comfortable with a sitter in another town, look into summer camps in the area through organizations you might trust more, like the local YMCA or community center. This will feel adventurous to little kids, while ensuring you have a few hours off to explore without them.
In the end, kids will probably remember flying a kite near the water, spaghetti nights with board games in the hotel on rainy days, and the simpler things anyway.
4. Take a minimalist approach to excursion-planning
It can be tempting to fill your itinerary with deep-sea fishing, historic tours, and all-day theme park visits. But what if you just sat around and existed someplace that wasn’t your home? You might find a more minimal schedule, with just one to two outings all week instead of daily, helps your little kids establish a routine again, and that they still have as much fun without the added expense and pressure of getting out the door. In the end they will probably remember flying a kite near the water, spaghetti nights with board games in the hotel on rainy days, and the simpler things anyway, as will you.
5. Validate the struggles
Lastly, give yourself a break and some grace, realizing that it’s hard for almost everyone to take small kids on trips. This universal truth can help relieve the pressure of planning and organizing time away with little kids. Zeroing in on the tiniest wins, from a bit of excitement from a toddler boarding a plane and meeting the pilot, to their joy splashing around in a different pool, can be your moment to congratulate yourself on a job well done, making it (mostly) “worth it.”
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