7 Life-Changing Habits I Learned From a Staycation (That I’m Practicing IRL)
by Thao Thai
A luxuriously slow vacation at home taught me seven life-changing lessons on how to take care of myself for a change.
I haven’t taken a proper, long vacation since 2012, when I flew to Vietnam, pre-motherhood. By proper vacation, I mean a time where I’m not checking emails, weighing in on “quick” Slack questions, or otherwise hustling on side projects. This past winter, due to some fortuitous scheduling, my husband, daughter, and I found ourselves work- and school-free for two blissful weeks. We’d planned a slate of activities (the movies at an actual theater! Playdates! A fancy tea service at a book-lined cafe!), but thanks to Omicron, we canceled those activities and waffled around the house instead.
I’d always operated under the assumption that I would be restless without a set schedule, but I found instead that I could be present for the first time in ages. The luxury of vacation is the ability to think of your day holistically, rather than as set blocks of time reserved for obligations, with moments of pleasure snatched in between. Vacation means that the day is yours; you have the autonomy to shape it. Of course, vacation-mode is not sustainable (more’s the pity), but it’s a necessary part of modern life. In our overworked society, PTO is viewed as a privilege extended by our companies and educators, when it should instead be seen as an integral part of a fully rounded, generative life.
When I got back to work after those two weeks away, I laughed to a colleague, “It’s like I forgot how to human.” She corrected, “Actually, you forgot how to be in constant productivity mode. You are humaning just fine.”
I was humaning just fine. In that spirit, I’m assembling my seven best lessons from my life-changing, yet perfectly event-free, vacation, along with how I’m applying them to my life, even if I can only do it on the weekends. I hope that you find the space to sink into yourself, too, even if your way of humaning looks totally different from mine.
The habits that offer simplicity and ease
1. Purposefully misplace my phone
It became a running joke in my family that every few hours, I would call out, “Has anyone seen my phone?” Because I truly had no idea where it was. I can count on my fingers how often I got back to anyone — friends, family, work — in a “timely” manner over vacation. And yet, the world didn’t burn down! In fact, when I did reply, my answers weren’t dashed off in between carpool and a thousand other thoughts weighing me down. They were considered and meaningful. Now, I make more of an effort to “lose” my phone at night and on the weekends. Most everything can wait; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2. Create some landmark events for the day
Though a lack of schedule was liberating, I found the day needed some structure. So instead of set timelines or appointments, we would discuss a handful of landmark events for the day — and I use the term very loosely, because “landmark” could mean something like baking banana-chocolate-chip muffins or applying new metallic temporary tattoos. Now, before we start the day, we’ll discuss the 2-3 things we’re most looking forward to. They can be teeny-tiny, but those buds give us just the motivation to get out of bed.
3. Take a walk before screen time
We didn’t limit screen time or even keep track of it much during our vacation, but I found that to balance it all out, I needed to coerce everyone into getting some fresh air. Our rule was that we would all take a family walk together before we could have screen time. At first, my daughter grumbled, but as soon as she donned her hat and coat, she loved being outdoors. Sometimes, rather than getting back to her screen time reward, she preferred to run around our yard instead. Now, on days when we are sluggish, we pull ourselves out for a walk, even in the most brisk of weather.
4. Have a tea time
One of the traditions I wish we adopted more in America is tea time: That lovely hour between 3 or 4 p.m., when our energy begins to flag, and we need a pick-me-up to carry us through. During our vacation, we always had something nibbly laying around. We’d pour ourselves some tea (or apple juice for my daughter) and snack while chatting or playing a game. It was restful and pressure-free, and I found that we all looked forward to our little afternoon tradition. Now, on the weekends, I make sure to have something in the pantry, even if it’s just a handful of goldfish crackers and some grapes, and I call everyone to the kitchen table for our own haphazard version of tea time.
5. Take a long bath in the afternoon
There’s something about an afternoon bath that feels so decadent. Maybe it’s the light streaming in the windows, highlighting billows of steam from the hot water, or maybe it’s the slight transgression in bathing for pleasure rather than necessity. During my vacation, I would disappear into the bath for an hour with a book and a beverage. When I emerged, I felt newly eager to reengage with my family. An afternoon bath isn't always possible in everyday life, but I'll make sure to schedule a few of these for future-me. The space and luxury of doing this—even if just once a week—makes me feel connected to myself.
6. Treat my book like a pet
No matter where I went throughout the day—downstairs to make dinner, to the basement to watch my daughter play—I brought a book with me. It replaced my phone as my favorite accessory. This way, I was able to sneak in pages while waiting for broth to boil or while my daughter spun a dramatic Barbie plotline. As a result, I read six books over the two weeks. By making my reading a part of my regular life, rather than something I only did in bed after everyone’s gone to sleep, I could realistically sustain my reading goals.
7. Add a basket at the foot of the stairs
This is one of those common-sense things that I wished I’d done sooner. Peak laziness during vacation meant I did not want to go up and down the stairs unless 100 percent necessary. So instead, I'd place things I needed to carry up/down in a basket by the stairs; then make the trip all at once. It's a little step, but one we'll continue, since it makes our lives neater and more convenient. Plus, my daughter can toss her toys in there for clean-up purposes. If vacation teaches us nothing else, it’s that life is better lived when we work smarter, not harder.
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