5 Mothers on Negotiating Flexibility at Work After Maternity Leave

What’s it like to negotiate for reduced hours, remote work, and more after maternity leave? Five moms share their experiences asking for and managing flexibility at work.

The gray area between family life and professional pursuits may look different for everyone. Some women embrace a full career break, while others grow freelance businesses or launch companies to find the flexibility they need as moms. Further yet, a significant number of women here in The Power Pause community return to their workplaces after maternity leave, looking to create space for themselves as mothers within their familiar office setting.

But how exactly do you negotiate for flexibility in your career—whether in work hours or responsibilities? We tapped five mothers to share their experiences asking for, negotiating, and managing flexibility at work.

1. Be Firm With Your Boundaries

The best advice I was given when I went back to work after my career break was this: “Your team has more than survived without you, so don't allow yourself to get sucked back into everything and anything.” That advice encouraged me to set clear boundaries and to stick to them. I was also told that I would be my own worst enemy when it came to my boundaries so again, I had to not get in my own way and allow myself to live the life that was right for work and home.

I negotiated 4 days a week, Fridays off and they are fully off so I don't feel like I'm compromising the time with my son. I rush home at 5:30 every other day, but I'm happy to work after 7 when my son is asleep. My advice would be to discover what works for you and to ask for it. You have to be in control of what works for your family and compromise only when it works for you. Be strict but not unbending. - A mother of one in New York working in advertising

2. Embrace Where You Are

When I asked to go part-time I was lucky in that my boss was amazing and it wasn't even a negotiation. It’s nice to have a few days at the office where I can use my brain and feel useful for reasons not related to being Mommy. I'm also lucky to have the rest of the week home with my kids because I’m painfully aware of how fast time is flying by. However, the balance can be challenging.

Sometimes it's trying to get five days of work done in three, which is tough when you have to leave at 5 p.m. to get the kids from school. There's also the guilt for not being present 100 percent of the time for my kids or at work. I try to take solace in the fact that my kids love school, and then on our "mommy days,”  as my daughter calls them, I can enjoy (most of the time!) just hanging out with them without feeling like we always need to go places to interact with other kids. I've come to terms with the fact that at this point, it's more important to me to be home part-time with my kids than being full-time at work, and I realize how lucky I am to have that option. - A mother of two in Massachusetts working in bio-tech

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over

When I was leaving my 12-week-old to go back to work (a powerful women's magazine who raved about their support of women but did not reflect it in their maternity policy), I wanted to find something I was more passionate about—I almost wanted to lean in more. I felt as though if I had to leave, I wanted to work somewhere I was proud of and do work that I was interested in to justify not being there in the day-to-day to raise my son. I also felt I was coming back to work a different person, a mother. And the role I was coming back to didn't know me that way so it was almost a new meeting—and we did not work out. I found that it's not really where you work but who you work for. Someone who knows you're doing your best—working as much or as little as you need depending on the moment and truly supportive of wanting to create balance. - A mother of one in New York working in media

I started the conversation by putting the company’s needs at the heart of our discussion so it felt two-way. As a result of that conversation, I no longer go into the office on Fridays.

4. Recognize When It’s Time For a Change—And Ask for It

Being a distracted or stressed-out mother is my biggest fear. I want to be completely present when I am with my son, and when that started to slip I knew I needed to make a change. I first broached the subject of balance at work when the hours and workload had gotten overwhelming. I felt like a lot of this was due to company inefficiencies and infrastructure issues, so I started the conversation by putting the company’s needs at the heart of our discussion so it felt two-way. As a result of that conversation, I no longer go into the office on Fridays—but this win was not without its pitfalls.

Initially my boss, who is male, floated the idea of reducing my responsibilities and salary to help me achieve better balance. And in my mind, this is the crux of everything wrong with my industry and this topic as a whole. You need to work for people who truly believe in growing and looking after successful women. For me, it was shocking how acute the issue was and very obvious why women drop off the ladder at our stage—because companies and people haven't caught up with the fact that new mothers are actually at their best and that balance essential, not just a nice-to-have. - A mother of one in New York working in advertising

5. Keep Your Mind Open to a Career Pivot

I was a classroom teacher and that isn't really something you can do part time. I had a very difficult time deciding whether I would return to the classroom or not after my oldest was born. Ultimately, I knew I wanted to be home and so I made the difficult trek to my boss’s office to break the news. I was completely shocked and over the moon when she asked if I would consider coming back part-time to work in the admissions office, rather than the classroom. It seemed like the perfect bridge to stay involved in the education world but also be able to have time at home with my new baby. From there, and with time, I was able to grow the position by adding more hours and greater responsibility.  - A mother of two in New York working in education