Ashley Wasilenko | A Media Partnerships Director On The Unexpected Pause & Finding A New Rhythm In Food & Freelance
by Neha Ruch
I first met Ashley Wasilenko at an intimate event hosted by her former company. She ran partnerships, and it was immediately clear why. She has an infectious and genuine sense of curiosity and collaborativeness. In a culture that celebrates women supporting women, Ashley delivers. Her post today is for the many women who found themselves unexpectedly in the pause after the pandemic. She shares the ebbs and flows of enjoying the unattachment of anything besides family, discovering and investing in her long-time passions, and finding her rhythm in freelance work. My favorite part - the honest comparison between the full-time at home, full time at work, and her current in between. Read her full and open post below.
1. Since we last met in person, life has changed so much. Can you share the shifts you've made to make room for family life at various stages?
Life has really changed so much for me in the past year, as it has for most moms. The beginning of the pandemic was challenging in a lot of ways. I was working a (more than) full-time job, with no pre-k for my youngest, and a full-time virtual school with my 1st grader. Life was hectic, to say the least. But we came to enjoy the sense of unplugging from the world for a bit, and being in our little cocoon of love. We were spending time together we would have never normally had. Our kids are three and six, the time felt precious to me.
In August, I lost my job. It was hard at the time, but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I spent August enjoying the last bits of summer with my boys. We spent the mornings at the pool, running through the sprinkler in the afternoon, throwing water balloons, and eating snacks all day. It really was the best time of my life. I was unattached, no job, no meetings, no responsibilities, just me and my boys.
During that time, my husband encouraged me to start Cooking Full Circle. I spent September getting my ideas and content in order. It gave me a little bit of purpose and allowed me to mentally postpone putting my resume together. I truly saw a need in the market for a destination that busy parents could visit to help them get healthy meals on the table for their family fast. Everyone I knew was struggling with this. And, I wanted to use my talents to make it even a tiny bit easier for them with some recipes and inspiration. This allowed me to create content with my boys and help out my community at the same time.
After a month or so of nurturing Cooking Full Circle, I knew I needed to “get back to work.” I call this my “yes” stage. I said yes to meetings and phone calls, yes to “being open for work,” yes to a chat about a project that I wasn’t even sure about. I wanted everyone to know what I did and that I was available for work.
Since then, I’ve been able to piece together consulting projects to keep me busy. It allows me to be with my family when they need me, but also to be earning a paycheck.
2. Having now worked full-time, part-time, and been an at-home-parent, what one perception about each would you correct? How would you compare those experiences?
This is SUCH a great question. The simple answer is: none of these are easy, and you have to find your own rhythm with each.
I think the perception of a full-time working mom is that she never has time for her kids. In my experience, it made me more hyper-focused on family during the time that we did have. Family dinners are super important. Weekends are made extra magical. Vacations are a must. And taking off “just because days” as a way to recharge, really made all the difference.
Part-time moms seemingly “have it all.” But, to be honest, I have found this set up the hardest in a lot of ways. While it's the season I’m in right now, I’m still finding my way. Solidifying the balance between work obligations and family time seems more grey. Establishing those boundaries for part-time work can be challenging. What I do love about this stage is the flexibility. I can be at school pick up, or go to the park in the morning, or run to the gym and not feel guilty about any of it.
At-home parenting can be perceived as the most fun or less stressful of all of the options. For me, I felt a lot of pressure to make each day fun and have activities planned all day. It also means that you never get to be “off.” There are no lunch breaks or vacation time with parenting. There is also a feeling of groundhogs day, which can feel daunting at times.
3. You've done an incredible job of staying creative and connected during your pause and shift - for women looking to do the same, what advice would you give them?
Be true to who you are. Find a way to sprinkle in projects that inspire you and make you feel creative and give you a sense of purpose. Every client and every job isn’t going to give you that “I love this” feeling, some are just frankly about paying the bills. And that is ok! But if you can pepper in a project or two that allows you to tap into that part of yourself, the part that makes you feel excited and driven, it will make the other projects more enjoyable too! This is one of the main reasons I started Cooking Full Circle.
4. I adore that your pause brought you back to cooking, for fun, and for work. What helped you take the leap and try something new? What keeps you going on days you feel stuck?
My husband was the number one factor. We always talk about me opening up my own little shop with prepared meals for busy parents. And when I no longer had the distraction and stress of a full-time job, he encouraged me that THIS was the time. Not pursuing a career in food is one of my biggest regrets. Many moons ago, I was selected as a contestant on Master Chef. I turned down the opportunity, and sometimes I wonder “what if.”
So, when Covid hit, parents were forced to cook 3 meals a day (and ALLLL the snacks!) for their families every day. I was getting so many texts from friends saying, “what are you making tonight?” “what do I do with this ground turkey that was delivered by accident?” I wanted to help. This was my opportunity to get back to cooking, hence the name “Cooking Full Circle.”
I almost let my perfectionist tendencies get in the way. I wanted it to be perfect before I launched it. I wanted to do for myself what I do for the brands and clients I work with. I wanted the perfect name, and the perfect tone, and to create a brand guideline book. And in reality, I just had to get used to seeing my face on Instagram. So, it wasn’t perfect, but I pushed it out into the world and have seen such a great response in such a short time. When people tag or DM me that they tried one of my recipes or methods and their kids ate it--that’s what keeps me going!
Food is my love language. Whenever anyone is sick or going thru a hard time, I want to cook for them or send them food. So, it truly is enjoyable for me. I’m doing it every day (10 times a day anyway), now the only difference is, I have a ring light and have to record it!
5. As you do freelance work as well as your own content creation while raising your kids, how do you tactically get work done? What routines and rhythms help you make room for yourself and the family?
Some days are better than others, to be honest. I live and die by lists. If I don’t write it down, or block time on my calendar for it, it doesn’t exist or get done. As a working mom, I have become so much more efficient with my time. While my youngest is napping and my oldest is on his virtual afternoon school meetings, I can get so much accomplished. I know this is my chance to buckle down and get it done. I hide my texts on my computer and power thru my to-do list. It also sometimes means I start working early and end late, allowing me to carve out some time in the middle for school pick up, lunch, and playtime. For me, that trade-off is worth it!
Quick Chit Chat:
+ Product you'd gift every mother: A home-cooked meal (or their favorite delivery). I always love to drop off an oven-ready dinner (with enough for leftovers). For me, when I was newly postpartum, I found breakfast was the hardest meal to remember to eat! So, I always include a little breakfast for the next day, even if it’s some yogurt and granola or a muffin.
And, the most important, my rule is to wait until two weeks after the baby is born! That’s when the meals stop and everyone thinks you have it totally under control. But, in reality, you are in the thick of it.
+ Most meaningful advice/learning: Don’t take other people’s advice?! Really! Find what works for you. For us, it’s lots of communication (we are always talking!) and being a true team. Sometimes I’m the coach, sometimes he’s the coach. Sometimes he’s the star player, and his work takes precedence. Sometimes mine does. This also, for us, means asking for what we each need. I may say, I need 15 minutes to lay in bed before this day starts. Or he may say, I need to take 30 minutes to walk and clear my head.
We have learned to do this for each other without the guilt. We have also found a common love for CrossFit. It helps us stay motivated and root each other on.
+ 3 Instagram accounts that inspire you:
Yours, of course!!
Also, I love fellow boy mom, @bethanyciotola. Her style is admirable! And I adore her sarcasm and realness. I have worked with her in the past and she is so sweet!
Our gym, @crossfitbison, inspires me every single day! Seeing real people, from all walks of life, doing extraordinary things...it gives me all the feels. Everyone there wants to get better and be better. These are the types of people I like to surround myself with. The owners have built a community of support and perseverance that is truly unmatched. Plus, when I see myself on IG stories doing something that I couldn’t do a year ago, or even a month ago, it motivates me to keep at it!
In terms of real foodie goals, @whatsgabycooking, takes the cake (pun intended)! Her recipes are always delicious, her photos are mouthwatering, and she is a real mom boss! Plus, I love how cohesive her IG feed is. You really get a sense of who she is, and what she's about when you scroll thru.
You can follow more from Ashley on Instagram.
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