Lindsey Trapp | A Visual Merchandiser On Creating Peace In A Career Pause
by Neha Ruch
Lindsey Trapp didn’t mean to be an influencer, but now anyone following her (me included) would agree she has grown into a welcome moment of calm and visual inspiration in the daily feed. Before she found creative solace in curating her home and sharing pockets of her well-loved family on the web, she did it for major storefronts, a career she loved and worked tirelessly at until she chose to create space for family. Lindsey’s moment of meeting the new version of herself, far from the buzz of the corporate, creative energy, is one many mothers in the early days of the untitled chapter will relate to. Below, Lindsey kicks off MU's April theme of change with her honesty about a series of transitions - from a fast-paced career to a career pause, hiring help, and a second baby - and finding the routines to keep her feeling like, well, her.
1. I absolutely love your aesthetic and know design was and is a big part of your life. What shifts did you make in your work life for motherhood?
Thank you! Creativity and working with my hands have always been my energy outlet since I was a kid. I remember always having input on where and what went into our home, and I loved rearranging and styling. I would rearrange my bedroom constantly, and since I was a child, everything was on that “perfect angle,” and everything had its place. My dream was to go to school for Interior Design, which then led itself to me studying Fashion Merchandising at LIM in Manhattan. I quickly realized my hands needed to be in Visual Merchandising, so I focused all of my internships working on Visual Teams. In my senior year, I interned at Michael Kors and was offered my first job with the Visual team after graduating. From there, I went on working at David Yurman in Visual Planning, which evolved into a Senior role in Visual Design that I worked so hard for. I was in charge of designing, material sourcing, and managing the production for all in-store Visual props for our stores globally. What I loved most, is that my creativity was also met with strategy execution from planning store openings, full-on rollouts, and managing the production with our vendors from start to finish. I thrived on the production and planning aspect and sometimes miss the fires I would wake up to in the morning that I somehow tackled via calls, texts and emails while simultaneously commuting into Tribeca by 9 am. I definitely owe my sense of design, style, and taste to working with such incredible leaders, role models, and purely creative coworkers on some of the most talented teams over the years.
Working the hours that I did, however, in such a demanding industry, I knew that once we started our family, I wouldn’t be able to continue at the same capacity, nor did I want to. Once I got pregnant with our son, I longed for my last day; I was exhausted and drained and ready to focus all of my energy solely on him. Once he was born, I was so wrapped up in him that I didn’t look back for months, until I was out of that newborn phase and was like, “holy sh*t, where am I? Who am I? Where did I go!”. I lost my sense of self. I was incredibly proud of who I was and how I fought tooth and nail for where I was professionally just before he was born. I was making my goal salary by the time I was 30, respected for my role on a dream team, and felt so confident doing what I loved, and it took leaving all of it to have our son to make me realize how truly proud I was of myself. Now I look back and honor the woman I was, and truly miss her! But, I so appreciate the woman and mother I am now, too, because this is my dream role above all else, and I am, of course extremely grateful that I have the choice to be with our children full time right now.
2. Your Instagram presence is gorgeous, how do you think having it as a creative outlet serves you in this stage of family life?
I am not even quite sure how my Instagram grew the way it did to allow me to use it the way that I do (it’s still so small, but it’s wild that I share any of my life as it is and that some people enjoy looking at it!) I never thought it would become an account that would sometimes offer work other than to serve as one source of a creative outlet, but it’s evolved organically, and I love it for this stage of life. It’s just one of very few things that feel like my own.
The way you see my home on IG is usually how it looks in real life (except our laundry room and guest room where the laundry piles live). I clean, organize, arrange and style constantly whenever I have a free minute. It grounds me and makes me feel in control when my brain has a million tabs open, and I cannot complete a single thought for what feels like days at a time. Hopefully, one day in the near future, I will be able to bring one of my real big dreams to reality, but now this little space feels good and fun at a pace that I can currently manage while our children are still so small.
3. Are there simple ways you've found to nurture and invest in your interests and passions while raising the kids?
Before the pandemic, after a year and a half without help outside of my husband, who is just as hands-on as me when he’s not working, a few date night sitters or my mother in law visiting, I finally realized it was okay, and not only okay, but critical for me to hire a steady, weekly sitter once a week. I was absolutely someone who thought that if you quit your paying job to “stay home” and mother, then for some wildly ridiculous reason, you shouldn’t “need help” because you chose it, or why would you need it? As if it is ever that black and white or as if being home to parent full time is not a full-time job in and of itself!
So, after 18 months and feeling incredibly burnt out, my health was on the back burner, and I felt like my cup was always on empty, I finally made the leap to hire someone. I remember thinking how even while working a demanding full-time job, if I needed to go to the dentist, needed extra hours in the morning before heading in, or needed to sneak out early to get to a workout class that I loved, I was able to. Even the hour alone while commuting was my time to think and dream and foster ideas and aspirations silently. Being a mother who “stays home,” you’re just not able to accomplish any of these small things or do anything that fills your own cup without another able body. My husband was often traveling to London at the time for work and would be gone for a week at a time multiple times a month, so it finally pushed me to hire someone. I just wanted to feel singular again for a few hours once a week to fuel myself, reset my thoughts, foster creativity that makes me feel like me, and find myself again mentally. We had a sitter come once a week for a few hours for three solid months until the pandemic hit. Thankfully, my husband has been working from home and will continue to do so, so he can step in during the day here and there when I need it. I have found that even though I feel like I am on borrowed time when he’s able to set aside time during the day, that leaving the house to meet a friend, run an errand, stop at a thrift store or whatever it may be, is all I need to slow my thoughts and nurture myself. So, asking for help, guilt-free without reservation, is my answer!
4. You had your second - congratulations! Did you find the adjustment to be different than with your first? How has it changed your rhythms as a family and a mother?
Thank you! I found the adjustment of actually caring for a newborn and navigating postpartum pretty similar, where both felt natural and sort of easy. Both of our babies were, thankfully, fairly calm and predictable. With our first, we definitely felt like we were able to adapt our life much easier by bringing him along for the ride, like continuing to travel the same way we did, just with him in tow. Having our second thought during a pandemic with a toddler has absolutely been difficult; I would never want to make anyone believe otherwise. She is the easiest baby I have ever met, and it is thankfully not her exactly that has made the adjustment hard, but of course, it is – you’re caring for two tiny people who depend on you! It’s been easier knowing what to expect, but physically caring for two human beings at two vastly different young stages, with different needs, schedules, expectations— it’s challenging. What has been a real saving grace though, is my husband working from home. Many days, I can leave our daughter home for one of her naps, so my son and I can go on a date just us. This helps him, and I connect, and I find just giving him that one on one special time changes his mood for the whole day, which ultimately affects all of our moods.
5. Self-care can feel over played but it is so important and unique to each person - what does it look like for you?
Ever since our daughter's birth, I found mornings are always the most stressful and anxiety-inducing for me. From the moment I open I my eyes to the second I go to sleep, I am “on”. Mornings were catastrophic trying to nurse, change diapers, entertain and feed our toddler or simultaneously running to get him to the potty before he peed on the floor during potty training. So, I started a morning routine that helps me set the tone for the day. It consists of taking care of what makes me feel ready before I feel like I give myself up to wherever the day takes us. My husband wakes up with our son every morning to sleep a little longer before our daughter wakes up (she sleeps until 8-9am and I do not take this for granted!), or I’ll spin on the Peloton or go for a run. I open all the blinds upstairs, make our bed, brush my teeth (which is silly to consider as self-care, but I know I am not alone, where with newborns, it’s usually the first thing that gets pushed until the afternoon!) I get dressed, wash my face, and take the few minutes to go through my skincare routine, and some mornings catch up with a friend on the phone while doing so. I do all of this while our son watches a few shows, and I feel zero percent guilt. Taking these 20-30 minutes to focus on feeling good or ready for the day truly feels like self-care and goes a long way for me.
6. I think you and I share in common a desire to keep growing alongside motherhood, what are you reading/watching/listening to that has made an impact recently?
I really wish I could say that I am reading or listening to anything right now, but honestly, I am in the current state of feeling like I am constantly on borrowed time or at full mental capacity. When I do have the time to reconnect and dive deep, I have been finding that it’s catching up with a friend on the phone. I find motherhood to be something that needs to be shared to not feel alone in any of it, but I also learn so much from each of my friends. I reach out to certain friends during specific moments, knowing they will have a different type of response or offer the type of support that I need in that time. One is more supportive, or another more direct, or all have children at different stages, so I constantly learn and grow from them. So thankful for each of them and how much they impact my life.
Quick Chit Chat
A product you'd gift to every mother:
A complete skincare regimen! I am currently in love with my routine of products from Osea – I really look forward to my morning and nighttime skincare routine every day. Even if it’s a quick 5 minutes or less, standing in front of the mirror, taking care of myself before the day and making sure my face and skin feel good is my own way of setting the tone for the day.
Ideal date night (location or activity):
We live minutes from beaches along the Long Island Sound. All I am currently dreaming of is my husband and I grabbing a good bottle of wine and stopping at the cheese store or grabbing a pizza and sitting alone at sunset.
Family travel destination you loved:
When our son was 13 months old we brought him with us to the South of France and it was the best, easiest trip we made as a family of 3. We thought we had to get all of our travel in before kids, because we thought once we had a baby we wouldn’t be able to. Well now I tell everyone to travel everywhere you can with one if you plan on having more. We found it so easy to adapt with one.
3 Instagram accounts you're inspired by:
@Aliciamlund (Alicia Lund) – I absolutely adore her style and love how she weaves in a glimpse of motherhood into what she shares of her home and lifestyle.
@Alexfdamour (Alex D’amour) – She is so connected to her thoughts on pregnancy and new motherhood, and has such a beautiful, real and relatable way of articulating them through her words. She’s the kind of person you can feel her authenticity and true genuine spirit through her account.
@Brass__tacks (Lisa Przystup) – Her style and talent are everything to covet, and every nook of her upstate home is inspring. I absolutely love how hard you feel each season through her photos.
You can follow along with Lindsey on Instagram.
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