Holly Blakey | On Finding Her Thing, Letting Go Of Guilt, & The Practical Day to Day

by Neha Ruch

I dare you to follow Holly Blakey and not want to either, hire her or ask her to go on a girls weekend. It’s hard to remember what first connected us, though it was likely her genuine, sunny demeanor combined with an aspirational while practical approach to home. Now, in knowing her more, I deeply relate to and admire (and am so thrilled to share) her path from the traditional workplace to the grey area of entrepreneurship alongside motherhood. Holly, a San-Franscisco based mother to three, left the long hours of a previous career in tech PR after having her first daughter. She is a treasure chest of honesty and tips on the path from that first choice through the seasons of pausing, exploring, ultimately, finding what came next and holding on to it even when she felt like letting it go. For her, making room for motherhood led her to Breathing Room Organization which is beloved by clients, brands and her loyal following, me included. Her brand, it turns out is her, warm, clear and approachable, and her Q&A below is one that’s easy to take notes from - from the tools that keep her and her family balanced and the mindset shifts to work around mom guilt.

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1. Your business and Instagram presence are such a delight to follow along with, both, for the organizing inspo and your lifestyle - how did you find your way to this passion and platform? 

I’ve always loved organizing… or really, doing anything to create a sense of calm in my surroundings – whether that’s painting, moving furniture, or decluttering. I love it all, and I always have. But I didn’t even contemplate it as a career until after I had my first child in 2014. I was working in tech PR at the time – I loved my company and the people – but the job wasn’t great for my nervous system… and I knew I couldn’t be the kind of mom I wanted to be if I stayed with it. When I decided not to go back, I had a newborn baby and way too much free time – but none of it was my time anymore. I felt a bit (really) lost. I didn’t want to go back to a life of working until midnight, but I missed creating – goals, ideas, projects. While I sat in the discomfort and unknown I started teaching yoga again, which was such an excellent way to connect with people (early motherhood can be sooooo lonely!). During that time I remembered a long-time mentor asking me, “Holly, what would you do for fun and for free?” My answer to that was organizing. I mean…. I used to ask my friends if I could tidy their homes for fun; When I’m stressed, I do therapeutic purging. I know for a fact there’s a few of you reading this who totally get it. 

So I just went for it. But I knew I had to have a plan… My husband is a very practical man, so I wanted to bring him my big vision with a business plan to support it. So for about 6 months I researched, read, met with people, and planned. Fast forward 5 ½ years later to now. The in between has had ups and downs – I’ve had two other children since then, and there’s been seasons I thought I should let Breathing Room go. I’m so glad I haven’t –  I feel like despite it being a ton of work, it’s a huge form of self-care to be doing something I love so much. 

Torrey Fox Photography

2.  What does your version of balance look like between work and home life?  How has it changed over the years?

This is something I am constantly grappling with and striving for. I think being a mom of three little kids, plus running every aspect of a business, is going to be pretty messy sometimes. The kindest thing I’ve done is to give myself more grace. And if I’m completely honest, I struggle with major mom guilt sometimes. “The committee,” as I’ve labeled the unkind voices in my head, wants me to believe I can only be one or the other: a really good mom, or a really successful business woman. One of my goals for this year is to LET THAT GO. So I’ve started working with an incredible business coach who is helping me let go of any limiting beliefs and to function from a place of more abundance. 

But for more practical, day-to-day ways I try to find balance: 

• I make sure to get enough sleep – even when I have deadlines. Sleep is key. I learned this through each postpartum period.

• I always nourish my body. I’m not one to “forget to eat” meals. I actually can’t even relate to that.

• I *try my best* to put away my phone in the afternoons when I’m with my kids.

• I ASK FOR HELP. This one was hard for me to start doing, but I have to. I’m lucky to have such a supportive husband and the most amazing group of mom-friends. But if I don’t ask, I won’t get the help I need.

• I call my support-system (my group of female confidants and cheerleaders) daily.

On that note – women need women. I don’t know what I’d do without my girlfriends near and far who lift me up, support me, and love me even with all my defects. 

3.  Help is such a big part of the equation - what does your village look like right now? How has it changed in different stages?  

When I had Ella, my first, I had this idea that I didn’t deserve help unless I was still working in an office full-time like I had been. If any of you out there think like this, stop! I say that in the gentlest way ;) Oh my goodness… being a full-time, stay at home mom is very taxing emotionally and physically. Or a part time mom, or a full-time working mom. There’s so much on all of our plates to try and do it all. The only way we can really do it “all” is if we sacrifice taking care of ourselves, and that won’t work out well for anyyyyyone. So help is essential.

Six years ago that looked like getting a babysitter so I could see a counselor about postpartum anxiety. Then it looked like getting childcare so I could teach yoga. Then it turned into more consistent help so I could run Breathing Room. And since 2020 hit us (ohhh, 2020) it looked like asking my husband to support me in new ways because the world flipped over and everything was different. 

I think asking for help is also about being creative. It can look differently for everyone – and also look different at different times in your life. You can test out what different forms of “help” look like for you – maybe a neighbor, grandparents, a moms group, a babysitter, etc. But most importantly – we all deserve some help! And often, people love helping!

4. Your feed and business offer so much inspiration for simplicity, what are some rhythms and tools that help you create simplicity in your life? 

I’m a big fan of consistency and routine – they take out confusion and guesswork, and create mental simplicity. 

A few things I rely on right now for simplicity and sanity are:

1. A consistent (and relatively early) bedtime for my kids. It’s the only way my husband and I can connect (even if that means just watching a show together), and I also usually have work to get done. I try really hard to get enough (this is very relative as a mom of 3 little ones) sleep, so I need my kids to have an early and routine bedtime.

2. The same meals every week: chicken & veggie bowls on Monday, taco Tuesday, pasta Wednesday, etc. I LOVE IT. Someday, I’ll be really into making dinners with fancy ingredients… but definitely not right now!

3. I’ve been loving a new daily planner my business coach gave me. It really makes things simple and keeps you focused on your goals in a very holistic way. It’s called Full Focus planner.

5.  Relatedly, self-care has become cliche but it's so important for women - when and how do you take care of yourself? 

Since I’ve already said sleep a few times… here are my other ways I try to take care of myself: 

1. Connecting with other women – even if that means leaving a long message on my best friend’s machine – keeps me grounded and sane.

2. Knowing my limits. When I feel run-down or overwhelmed, I try to take things off my plate. I just finished some huge projects so I decided to reschedule several things next week so I could have a little “breathing room.” Can’t give what I don’t have!

3. Showering – even when I don’t want to. Seriously though, sometimes showering sounds exhausting. Especially in the last year when there were days (or weeks) spent in yoga pants, I always try to have a “fresh start” with a shower… and then putting on real clothes. It really changes my frame of mind.

4. Alone time. This is a bit trickier to come by, and it means planning with my husband, but I need to recharge in absolute silence sometimes. Even if it’s for 30 minutes. Before I had my third baby I took an overnight trip by myself. I took walks, swam, ordered room service, watched Crazy Rich Asians and fell asleep around 9. I came home missing my family so much – and that’s what I needed! Trust me, I looove girl trips too... but somehow I don’t come home as rested ;)

6. I think you and I share in common a desire to keep growing, what are you reading/watching/listening to that has made an impact recently? 

Oh I wish I had a better answer to this! I haven’t listened to a podcast in months and at night my books are fiction so I can zone out. But I do find incredible inspiration from female founders – Chelsea Shukov of Sugar Paper, Jennifer Garner, Sophie James of Sophie James Wine, and Jen Robin of Life in Jeneral all inspire me to do hard work with passion, while also being extremely good people (my friend Rachel is also an amazing example of this). Seeing how other people are balancing and growing helps me think outside my own box, and step outside my comfort zone. 

Quick Chit Chat

A product you'd gift to every mother:  I think beautiful flowers are such a wonderful gift… but really the best gifts would be food delivery or cleaning help. That way you’re not adding to a mamas house, but taking stuff off her plate!

Ideal date night (location or activity): A long walk followed by dinner. Oh my - sitting down without anyone hanging on me and being able to chew my food?! Dreamy!

Family travel destination you loved: We go to Bend, OR at least once or twice a year. It’s our happy place. We have very dear friends up there and we are all just happy and at peace. 

3 Instagram accounts you're inspired by: 

• Glennon Doyle

• Pure Salt Interiors (so hard to pick only one design account… I could list 12! Identite Collective, Amber Interiors....)

• Earthy Andy

You can follow Holly on Instagram or check out her work at Breathing Room.

Read More:

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