The One Routine That Made the Transition to Two Easier
by Neha Ruch
In the first couple weeks of life with two kids I deeply wished Bodie was in school five mornings a week. But once I got past the initial postpartum recovery and was a bit better slept, I started to use the mornings he was off to fill him up with love.
In the first six weeks, I very intentionally made him a ruthless priority, making myself very available to him for play, meals, bedtime and anything in between. After it was clear he was very secure that Lyla wasn’t a risk to his place in our world, I started balancing the two of them side by side and was much more comfortable and confident telling either of them that they needed to wait while I tended to the other. Very quickly, they both became happier to be alongside one another, whether that’s with me or a babysitter, and that’s only gotten more so.
I made him a ruthless priority, making myself very available to him for play, meals, bedtime and anything in between.
As our new dynamic unfolded, I toned down the 1:1 time with Bodie to a more sustainable routine. Pockets of focused time during the day during naps and one or two standing outings, like a coffee and croissant after pick-up and a Wednesday morning adventure stuck.
I distinctly remember Bodie scooting down 5th avenue to the Union Square farmers market or up Park to the Scandinavia House for art. I could keep up with him because I wasn’t one-handing a stroller, which he appreciates. We took our time getting to wherever, and he delighted in showing me every flower or truck he observed.
I remember being thrilled to discover that Bodie paid it forward by being very open and understanding when I took Lyla for a music or movement class. He understood it was her turn to have special time.
And it’s not just for him or for her, that quality time with both fills me up too. It makes me feel more connected to where they each are emotionally, physically, etc. which serves us all when we’re back together. It lets me present with each child at their unique stages, and exercise very different parenting muscles. And it makes me feel unbelievably grateful to be able to experience these individuals in the making.
