Struggling With Boredom as an At-Home Mom? 4 Expert Tips for How To Deal
A mental health expert weighs in on how at-home parents can navigate boredom—without feeling guilty or ashamed in the process.
Source: Alvaro Reyes
How many times have parents of young children been prodded to “enjoy every moment” of raising little ones? As well-intentioned as the advice may be, it never fails to factor in the most obvious issue: There are moments of motherhood that even the most saintly among us would be hard-pressed to enjoy. Take tantrums, for example. Or more insidious in nature, those moments that are so monotonous that boredom feels like the only natural response. As we often say in the Mother Untitled community, two things can be true: We can both love time spent with our children and experience episodes of boredom while caring for them.
“Just because you feel bored, doesn’t mean you’re doing [motherhood] wrong,” says Emily Pardy, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder and CEO of Ready Nest Counseling in Nashville, Tennessee. “Boredom in motherhood is a very common affliction that goes unrecognized and it's something most mothers experience, yet very few talk about.” This often results in feelings of guilt and shame, which Emily says can be “so debilitating.”
If you find yourself experiencing boredom as a stay-at-home mom, Pardy offers four expert tips for navigating your feelings—without beating yourself up in the process.
Meet the Expert
Emily Pardy: Licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder and CEO of Ready Nest Counseling in Nashville, Tennessee.
4 Tips for Navigating Boredom as a Stay-at-Home Mom
1. Know That Boredom is Normal
The reality is, babies bring a wonderful opportunity into our lives to slow down. The sensation of boredom you're experiencing is likely due to the halt of busy-ness that your new routine has interrupted. Especially if you've left a stressful workforce, coping with a day full of mundane (albeit, overwhelming) chores can be mind-numbingly exhausting. These are the days when you crash into bed feeling like you accomplished nothing.
2. Examine Your Definition of What It Means to be a ‘Good’ Mother
Embrace the boredom by redefining what being a "good mother" means. You likely have a definition in your head that is perfect, unattainable, and inexhaustible. In other words, not possible. You can't possibly love every minute of raising a child, and that has nothing to do with how much you love your baby. Whatever you catch yourself doing in the moment, whether you're making your baby smile, scrolling through your phone, or reheating your tenth cup of coffee, tell yourself "I guess this is what good moms do.” Repeat it out loud. Repeat it while smiling at yourself in the mirror. Repeat it with a pat on your own back. "I guess this is what good moms do." These eight little words have the power to restore your confidence and retrain your self-talk.
How can I be sure you're a good mom? Because you're asking yourself all the right questions. You're reading this article. You care enough to question and doubt yourself. This alone should reassure you that you're doing great.
How can I be sure you're a good mom? Because you're asking yourself all the right questions. You're reading this article. You care enough to question ….
3. Redefine Boredom
The second thing you can redefine is boredom itself. As a mother to four, I've heard a lifetime's worth of whining and belly aching about boredom. What I tell my daughters is also what I tell myself: Boredom is the prelude to creativity. If you truly dislike what you're doing, or not doing, then soon enough you will have to change it. Leave the house. Get out of your comfort zone. Learn something new. Try to mix it up! There aren't any parameters to what this means for you as a mother, so do your best to get creative and be gentle with yourself as you try new things. You might just learn something new about yourself!
4. Take Care of Yourself
Schedule self-care check-ins on your phone. Literally, set a timer to go off twice a day that asks you "What do I need right now?" Check in with yourself and do your best to follow through on validating or meeting that need. Are you lonely? Call a friend. Are you hungry? Grab a bite. Are you bored? Get out of your comfort zone and try something new.
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