3 Myths Keeping At-Home Moms From Launching a Business

By Jacqueline Courtney

Over a decade ago I launched my own business, Nearly Newlywed, a global marketplace for preowned wedding dresses and accessories. A few years later, I became a mom to my son, Ryan. In raising both my business and my son, I’ve come face-to-face with countless false beliefs about building a business while parenting—and none of them serve mothers at any stage of the game.

As at-home moms, we’re sold the belief that our time is too limited, our attention too fractured, our focus too wrapped up in home-life. We’re led to believe that motherhood is at odds with entrepreneurial life—and I’m here to say that nothing could be further from the truth.

So, if you find these thoughts holding you back from pursuing a business idea, cast them aside. Here are the top three biggest myths about launching and running a business while also raising children.

3 myths holding moms back from starting a business

1. Startups are for the young and unencumbered

The cultural narrative around startups and entrepreneurs is stereotypical and fetishized: It’s exciting. It is for the young and energetic, for those who can afford to pull 15 hour days, never sleep, and have an insatiable, singular desire to succeed. We’re led to believe that motherhood couldn’t possibly fit into the equation. But I can’t stress just how wrong this one feels. Most of the time, being an entrepreneur is like any job; it's work. In fact, it’s a lot like motherhood.

When I had Ryan, he threw himself into my orbit and suddenly my solar system felt crowded, chaotic, and out of control. I learned that while there is no limit for love—it multiplies and expands—the same cannot be said for time and attention. The allocation of both have very real limits and it is overwhelming and exhausting to navigate that all at once, especially in the beginning. 

But from that chaos and feeling of being submerged in a bottomless pool of must-dos and must-learns, I found that a lot of these tasks I’d assigned myself were not actually necessary. My definition of 'must’ broke down into ‘could,’ ‘should,’ ‘maybe,’ ‘sometime,’ ‘later,’ or ‘not worth the time given other priorities.’

What motherhood demands prepares you to be the best entrepreneur possible.

What motherhood cultivates and demands prepares you to be the best entrepreneur possible. As a parent, you can’t pause or quit. It’s relentless sometimes. You often have no idea what is coming at you or why, but you just keep going, you adapt. You become ruthless in your prioritization and time management because you have no choice.

I am ten times more effective at building my business now that I am a mother. And that is partly out of necessity, because time, attention, and energy are vastly divided and compromised compared to my pre-child self. But, I am plenty more effective and focused to make up for that.

2. Success has one speed, trajectory, and story

Success isn’t magic. It isn’t one speed, one linear track, or one-size-fits-all. It does not follow a singular trajectory and there isn’t one way to succeed. Also, big success doesn’t happen overnight. 

Building and maintaining a business takes time, work, and grit. This determination is cultivated, practiced, and probably the single most important thing for an entrepreneur to develop. It’s hard to start. It’s even harder to stay at it.

Since launching Nearly Newlywed, I’ve had plenty of achievements that have felt important to me. I introduced my business idea on the reality TV series, Shark Tank, was featured twice in the New York Times, and celebrated our first million dollars in revenue. These standout moments were incredible—but they’re only highlights in more than a decade of running this business day-in-and-day-out. Not every year was up on the metrics that mattered, and I was very uncertain of things—including myself, the market, and the business model. 

I have found something true with all mothers that I have met; working mothers, ‘non-working’ mothers (which I say in quotes because all mothers are working), and mothers navigating all of the shades in between. Moms make it work. We get up day after day and ride the waves and the troughs. And that is what makes for a long-term, successful business and entrepreneur, no matter the size and story.

3. If it’s not infinitely scalable it’s not worth the time. Especially as a mom.

There is this market idea that a small business equals a bad business, or a boring business, or a non-lucrative business. That isn’t true. 

A sustainable, healthy, and successful business can come in any size or shape, and so getting bogged down in what you think success is supposed to look like may block you from achieving it yourself. If your business idea is worth it to you, it is worth it. A small, medium, or large business can all be financially and emotionally rewarding.

None of us signed up for motherhood thinking it would be a breeze, and the same is true with a business.

When you are weighing your choices, your path, and deciding on the precious allocation of your time and attention, remember that success is not commensurate with scale. It depends on the business, the market, and what you hope to gain from it.

If you want 10,000 employees and offices around the world, go for it! By all means. But if you want to have a small regional business, or a store, or anything else between enormous and tiny, you can do that too. The trick is articulating what success is for you and then building from there. Measure yourself against yourself and do what is right for you.

None of us signed up for motherhood thinking it would be a breeze, and the same is true with a business. So, push back the fear that says you can’t or shouldn’t pursue a business idea. Create your own idea of balance, success, and motherhood. And remember it takes time. It is hard work. That’s what makes doing it and succeeding, when you do, even sweeter.

Read More:

5 Mothers On Turning a Hobby Into a Business They Love

Jacqueline Courtney is the founder of Nearly Newlywed, an online-only listing boutique that offers an exclusive white-glove concierge service for brides-to-be and newlyweds.

Editor’s note: A version of this story first appeared in 2018.