When Flexible Work Schedules Are a Struggle—How 5 Moms Deal
For any at-home parent working part-time while they care for their little ones, the very idea of a flexible work schedule sounds like a dream. After all, you’re able to dedicate time to your career—while also being present for the fleeting moments of childhood.
Sounds ideal, right? But embracing a flexible schedule may also mean opening your calendar to surprises, struggling to find childcare for the odd hours, and blurring work and life boundaries in a way that doesn’t always serve you. To help us problem solve the dilemma of the flexible worker, we turned to five moms in the Mother Untitled community. Here’s what they had to say about the challenges of mixing stay-at-home motherhood with flexible working hours—and the tools, resources, and habits they have in place to ensure they’re present for everything that matters.
How to Handle the Challenges of Flex Work
1. Make a Childcare Plan
“Finding childcare for a flexible work schedule can be challenging as nannies and daycare facilities tend to want regular schedules. If you have clients, they want to know when they can reach you. This means that ‘flexibility’ may be something you see more outside of the paid childcare scenario—that is, working when the baby is napping or asleep for the evening, or when a partner, friends, or family members can be on duty.
Finding childcare for a flexible work schedule can be challenging, as nannies and daycare facilities tend to want regular schedules.
I always tried to keep childcare super regular so that everyone—the caregiver, my baby, and me—benefited from the consistency. How much time you need depends on how and when the baby naps, and how and when you work best. Will a crying or cooing baby be a distraction? Probably yes. Are you a morning person? Or an afternoon person? I find that I get the best work done in the morning so I always try to find childcare that covers that time period. Then I rush off to my office on the top floor of my house so distractions are at a minimum.” — Marianna Sasche, mom of three, and founder of Jackalo
2. Set Boundaries Around Work Time and Mom Time
“For a long time, I had a tough time saying no to time that could be spent with my kids. I felt like if I was doing work or on a call, I was neglecting them somehow. So, I was doing a lot of interrupted “me-time” – that looked like getting snacks, refereeing arguments, setting up an art project, and so on, all while trying to do work. It was ineffective and frustrating for all of us. My kids and my work were getting my half-attention.
I had a tough time saying no to time that could be spent with my kids. I felt like if I was doing work or on a call, I was neglecting them somehow.
But over time, I have realized that there is nothing wrong with setting aside time where I focus solely on my work and focus solely on my kids. That means setting boundaries and saying I cannot be interrupted, and closing the door to the [home] office. It involves more planning, especially when there’s homework that needs to be done and games that want to be played. I make sure they are fed (otherwise, forget it!), and they know what the rest of the day will look like before I start on anything Mookabee-related.” —Jessica Jackson, mom of two, and founder of Mookabee
3. Ask for Help
“When I had Ella, my first, I had this idea that I didn’t deserve help unless I was still working in an office full-time like I had been. If any of you out there think like this, stop! I say that in the gentlest way. Being a full-time, stay-at-home mom is very taxing emotionally and physically. Or a part-time at-home mom, or a full-time ‘working’ mom. There’s so much on all of our plates to try and do it all. The only way we can really do it ‘all’ is if we sacrifice taking care of ourselves, and that won’t work out well for anyone. So help is essential.
The only way we can really do it ‘all’ is if we sacrifice taking care of ourselves, and that won’t work out well for anyone.
Six years ago that looked like getting a babysitter so I could see a counselor about postpartum anxiety. Then it looked like getting childcare so I could teach yoga. Then it turned into more consistent help so I could run Breathing Room. Then it looked like asking my husband to support me in new ways. I think asking for help is also about being creative. It can look differently for everyone–and also look different at different times in your life.” — Holly Blakey, mom of three, and founder of Breathing Room.
4. Create a Week-by-Week Schedule
“Working from home was a huge adjustment (still working on it), but after some time, things were more comfortable. It is nice to work on my own time, but along the way, there have been a lot of learning curves, including IT headaches, accounting, and time management.
I’ve always followed an office, sports, or school schedule, so creating a week-by-week calendar took some getting used to. I love working this way now, as it’s made me more efficient.
For example, I’ve always followed an office, sports, or school schedule, so creating a week-by-week calendar took some getting used to. I love working this way now, as it’s made me more efficient… For me, the reward of being able to accomplish a project and be happy and present with my family is a great feeling.” — Dana Waldron, mom of two, and interior designer.
5. Plan for Surprises
“While I love the flexibility working part-time from home provides, it also means I am constantly the parent responding to school emails, or putting off work to care for a sick child, etc. In the beginning, this was such a struggle and I was often resentful of my husband, who also works from home. I’d make up for lost work-time by catching up in the wee hours of the morning, staying up until 2 or 3 a.m. I was miserable. For parents who freelance in any capacity, the default seems to be that we find uninterrupted work time during the fringe hours when everyone is asleep. It’s no fun at all to start your work day at 9 p.m. after a full day of parenting.
Decide what a doable work load is for you. Learn to say no once you’ve met that threshold.
So, here’s what is helping me right now: decide what a doable work load is for you. Learn to say no to assignments once you’ve met that threshold (this is advice from a far more organized freelancing friend of mine). Then meticulously plan. Get a cute weekly planner (or of course, make one for free!), and plot out your work schedule day by day. If you allow yourself 1-2 days of breathing room for each assignment, you can adjust for any surprises without launching into panic mode.” — Lizzie Goodman, mom of two, and writer & editor
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