In Family & Career: Let the Pile of Good Things Grow
By Neha Ruch
As we head into another year balancing personal growth and motherhood, let’s find ease by simply allowing more good things to take root.
This evening, I strolled the kids home from my parents’ house. It was just before dinner, and they counted the trees that were lit and the giant silver snowflakes that hung between the blocks on Columbus Avenue. For some minutes, we forgot that it was only 36 degrees, and we were absorbed in noticing our streets dressed in their holiday best.
The magic of this season isn’t so dissimilar from parenting, actually. It comes with a heavier mental load, worries, and financial outlay, but ultimately triumphs with a simple, sweet quality that reminds you repeatedly what it’s all about.
The state of the world isn’t quite such a simple equation. While we’ve seen progress on some fronts in 2022, there’s still a weight we haven’t shaken this year. And pending where you are in your version of balance between home, motherhood, work, and self, you might be carrying along your own weight of personal contemplations. So at year-end, I come back to this—a quote that I adore from Rainbow Rowell—“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.”
So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.
Laurie Santos, PhD, and professor of psychology at Yale University, has made a case for the same in her beloved happiness class at Yale. The core thesis is that sustainable happiness lies, not in the big moments or revelations, but in everyday small things. The large and little tangibles and intangibles that we assemble that bring us joy, connection, and ease.
At the end of this year, no matter where you are in work and motherhood, how you’re feeling about the state of our country and communities, you’ve added so many good things. I hope you take some moments to take stock of that beautiful pile of yours. Editor’s note: A version of this story first appeared in 2021.
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