Neeti Narula | From Banking To Yoga & Finding Inspiration and Presence In Parenting
by Neha Ruch
Neeti Narula and I found each other within the Mother Untitled community through the topic of Friendship. We later found ourselves on an hour long phone conversation about our parallel growth and exploration as we both made shifts for family life. For Neeti, she left the world of banking for yoga while processing the passing of her brother. We often talk here about finding our pause and purpose in motherhood, but this was a story of finding it in grief. She shares more about that decision point, the insecurity surrounding it and the current day to day making room for her practice and studio work while learning presence parenting her son, Lokan.
1. You and I have connected on a similar path. Can you share more about finding confidence in the choices you made in your work life to make room for family?
When I left my corporate career to pursue yoga, at the time, I did not think of the shift as one to make more time for my family. I thought of it as a passion pursuit. However, I had struggled with fertility for a while and as soon as I made the career shift, we got pregnant. So although it wasn’t my initial reason for change, in hindsight, it’s clear to me that a shift was necessary to make space and time for the future we wanted as a family.
The decision to walk away from my corporate job was not easy. I deliberated over it with friends, family, and most of all my husband.
But when I made the final decision to leave, I instantaneously knew it was right. A weight lifted off my shoulders, one that I hadn’t realized I was carrying. Things started to come together with my new future so quickly that I never have looked back. When you trust your gut and put faith in yourself, the confidence part comes naturally.
There are of course still days where I doubt myself, where I have to remind myself that I now measure self-worth differently. The thing is, I have learned more about myself and my practice through being a mother. There is a deeply rooted connection between my work as a yoga teacher and my role as a mother. The lessons I learn about being present from my son are transformative for me as a teacher. So, when I doubt myself, I come back to him for reassurance. Because by learning to be present for him, I am learning to be present for myself and my students.
2. Your yoga practice is both an outlet and a brand/business for you. How did you decide it was going to be more than an outlet and how did you make that happen for yourself?
Yoga has completely transformed my life. I started practicing in a time of very difficult grief after losing my brother. There were no words I could speak aloud to express my feelings, as much as I tried. One day soon after his death I stumbled into a yoga studio, something kind of just called out to me about it. And I remember having a brief moment of peace during the class. And I left with an appetite, which I hadn’t had in weeks of mourning.
When I look back, I realize I knew early on I would one day share this practice with others. Over the years the practice grew from a means of recovery to a means of opening for me. It has taught me to enjoy the moment, to open up to happiness after grief.
But I spent several years as a student before taking teacher training. Even when I took a sabbatical from the investment bank I worked at for teacher training, I convinced myself that it was just to deepen my own knowledge and practice. But in hindsight that sentiment was really just to hedge my ego against failure.
After my sabbatical, for a full year I continued to work at the bank by day and at night I would rush to my studio to teach 7pm and 9pm classes. My days looked like this – wake up and go to studio for 6:30am or 7am class, shuffle to work to crunch in my cubical, go back to studio after work and teach two classes. It was a little nuts and we’d joke I was a yoga batman.
On top of all that, I was actually still running another one of my passion projects – my intentional jewelry line. That is a whole different story but it is an important one because it made me realize how much I want to be a part of people’s healing and inspired me to pursue teaching. I would make custom mala necklaces with crystals selected for my clients’ intentions. The types of intentions people came to me with were extremely moving. It was highly emotional and draining work, but some of my most gratifying work to date. I paused the jewelry business after having my son Lokan, but I hope to return to it one day.
3. Your practice and teaching has changed in the context of covid but how do you structure the typical week between your teaching and raising your son?
This is a tough one. To be honest, I’ve struggled with balancing my time since day 1 of becoming a mother. I’ve come to realize that that might not ever change. I will always feel pulled in different directions between my passion for my work and my family. I think this is a natural feeling for a lot of parents. But I should also mention that because I view yoga as more than being on my mat, rather as a way of life, the intersection between my work and family is never fully separable. This leads to difficulties at times, but more often it leads to profound learning experiences that I am so grateful for.
To answer your question on a more tangible level – the typical structure of my week is that I wake up at around 6am and meditate and do some morning yoga. This is my me time, if I sleep in, I miss out on it and my whole day gets off kilter.
My husband’s work day starts early at around 6:45am, so after my me time I am on duty as mama in charge in the morning. I teach 3-4 times a week and during these class times my husband takes over. Nap times are my work hours— this when I plan my classes, content, take calls, etc. If I need more time to finish up work, my husband will take Lokan for snack time after nap.
We eat all of our meals together as a family, it is really important to us. Bedtime is always with my husband so that at the end of the day I get some time to myself to unwind or finish up work.
4. I know you and I both could talk forever about personal growth - what's something you've been working through recently and a book/podcast/advice you've found helpful?
Writing has been really profound for me lately. I never thought that I would want to write, but it has become an integral part of what I consider my work to be. I get these intense waves of inspiration and usually the topic weaves itself into the themes of my classes and my content posts. Lokan is a huge source of inspiration for my writing as well. I want to capture all that I am learning from him as I watch him grow up.
Fitting writing in can be a little tricky because the inspiration comes at unscheduled times. Lately, when it happens I ask Andrew for a hand off with Lokan so that I can get my ideas down. It has been extremely therapeutic for me and I find myself feeling more deeply connected to my sense of self than ever before.
5. Beyond your practice, what tools and practices are helping you stay comfortable and confident in this season of pausing and trusting the process?
Honestly, fresh air and reconnecting with nature have been really important for me in the past year. If I have a day where I just can’t snap out of my own insecurities, I have learned that I need to breathe fresh air in and be humbled by the beauty of our planet. Feeling a deeper connection to Earth helps me trust that my feet are on the ground, in the right place.
Quick Chit-Chat
+ Product you'd gift every mother
Silk or super soft cotton PJs that button down the front to make breast feeding or skin to skin easily accessible. And a water bottle that is basically a straw cup, like this one… When you’re caring for a little one, sometimes you don’t have enough hands to open up your own water, and it is oh so important to hydrate.
+ Favorite family ritual or routine that keeps things smooth
Cooking together and involving our little one in the process with simple tasks and responsibilities. We love enjoying our meals together as a family. Food and cooking were always an important part of our relationship before having our son, so it feels special to include him in our interests.
+ Most meaningful marriage advice/learning
The more you learn to be vulnerable and share yourself in full honesty, the less you will put up your guard when things get difficult. In turn, arguments will be less about different sides and more about making things work for your family as a whole. This is a work in progress for me. My usual reaction when I am frustrated is to put up my guard and push people away. But over the years I’ve found when I do the opposite, we grow closer through our disagreements instead of apart.
+ 3 Instagram accounts that inspire you
@heatherlilleston – A teacher of mine who always has something inspiring to share. She captures humanness in a beautiful and accessible way. And her feed is always full of nature’s treasures.
@nicolecardoza – Nicole Cardoza’s commitment to helping others unlearn racism is amazing and so needed in our world. I love getting her anti-racism daily newsletter and I recommend it to everyone I can. It is a really good way to stay tuned into anti-racism work and her articles are always a great jumping off point for reflection and research.
@susannabarkataki -- As a yoga teacher and a person of Indian background, cultural appropriation is a topic that I think about frequently. I am still digesting my own feelings about it, but I admire Susanna for the work she is doing to inform the western world about appropriation. I have learned a great deal from her.
You can follow along with Neeti on Instagram.
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