A Simple Switch That’s Changed My Weekly Routine for the Better
By Chaunie Brusie
Last fall, after more than a year spent home with my children during the pandemic, I made a vow that I would reclaim some semblance of balance in my life again.
I had reached the kind of burnout that thousands of other moms like me had after juggling the stress of a pandemic, virtual school, illness, and of course, working without any sort of outside support. I was lucky, in many ways, to have a job I could continue to work from home, but the stress of managing it all took a huge toll on me. I felt like my brain was misfiring most days; I couldn’t summon words, sometimes staring at an object I was trying to name for minutes at a time, jumbling my sentences together, and feeling like everything I did was through a slow-motion fog.
I knew it was important that I finally have time to work and frankly, a little breathing room to heal as well.
When fall came and my older children returned to in-person school, I decided to find full-time childcare for my toddler. I knew it was important that I finally have time to work and frankly, a little breathing room to heal as well. I turned to a small in-home daycare, which my daughter loves going to, but I was surprised to discover that the provider only offered services Monday-Thursday.
I contemplated how to handle this because I work full-time, as well as run a freelance business on the side, but in the end, I decided that I kinda sorta loved the ideas of being forced to have a day “off” from work. So I decided to embrace it and establish a new tradition for me and my daughter: “Free Fridays.”
How Free Fridays work
Because our daycare provider doesn’t work Fridays, that means my two-year-old is home with me all day, while the other “big” kids are at school. For a long time, I may have treated that scenario as I have most of my work-at-home mom life: by trying to work as much as possible, getting little done, and being stressed all day trying to both care for my child and get work done.
But because I have childcare the rest of the week, I decided to focus on getting as much work done in the times I have childcare, so I could take Fridays off and enjoy being with my daughter. I vowed that Fridays would be just for fun. What a novel concept, right? I’ve been in the parenting game long enough to fully realize how fast time goes—my oldest is now 13—so it really was a wake-up call to enjoy this time in my life when my youngest is still little.
Other than working as little as possible, Free Fridays also have two main objectives: 1) to spend the day doing something fun with my daughter and 2) making some sort of self-care a priority for myself.
Free Fridays have two main objectives: to spend the day doing something fun with my daughter and making self-care a priority for myself.
How that actually looks each week varies. Some days we may stay home and just cuddle up and watch TV; other days we may hit the road for some adventure. A lot of the time, we keep it very low-key and simple. Last week for instance, we went out to breakfast with my sister, ran some errands (my daughter is a pandemic baby, so going to a grocery store and riding in one of the “car carts” is thrilling to her), played outside, and while she napped, I did something I haven't done in actual years: I took a full hour to brew some coffee and sit by the fire and read. It was glorious.
How Free Fridays have affected my business
As a full-time freelancer, I've spent my career mostly panicking about not working at every spare minute of the day. But the truth is, since instituting my Fridays are for Fun policy, something very interesting has happened to my business: it has never been better.
In fact, for the months I am actually able to have my daughter in childcare 4 days of the week (when she hasn’t been sick), I’ve actually increased my income by over 50 percent. Somehow, even with dedicating a full day to rest and self-care, I'm making even more money than before.
Of course, having childcare—something I’ve never had before—has a lot to do with that. And I admit that I have had a lot of mom guilt over finally turning to daycare. But the truth is, having Free Fridays has helped ease that guilt enormously. I can visibly see, and feel, the difference it makes in my business, my mental health, and my overall stress to be able to dedicate myself fully to work for 4 days, then have that last day of the week to look forward to. It feels like I get to have the best of both worlds—a thriving career and time to enjoy my daughter.
When Free Fridays fail
In an ideal world, I would be able to live that best-of-both-worlds experience every week, but I have to be honest and say that my commitment to Free Fridays does fail sometimes. For instance, I’m currently halfway through week three of having no childcare because my little one has had a runny nose and can’t attend daycare. My “Free Fridays” have turned into a free-for-all—let’s just say there’s been a lot of Cocomelon lately.
Building space and time in my calendar for self-care and fun, and being intentional about spending enjoyable time with my daughter will not hurt my productivity or ability to provide for my family.
However, even when my Fridays-are-for-fun plans don’t work out, I don’t consider it a failure. In fact, even by instituting the idea of Free Fridays, I have been able to prove to myself that building space and time in my calendar for self-care and fun, and being intentional about spending enjoyable time with my daughter will not hurt my productivity or ability to provide for my family.
On the contrary, it has helped me lower my stress and has improved my mental health, all while positively impacting my business. So, even on the days I fail to carry through with Free Fridays, I still consider it a win.
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Chaunie Brusie is a mom of five, a native Michigander, and a Registered Nurse turned writer and editor. Her work has appeared everywhere from The New York Times to Glamour to Parents magazine.
