How to Embrace a Full Career Break for Motherhood When You Decide to Stay at Home

Far from a plateau, a full career pause can be ripe for self-growth. Here are four areas to focus on when you’re a stay-at-home mom.

Featured Image via @JournalBean

I've gone through more transitions since my children were born than in my 10-year career prior. In January 2016, I paused to focus on family life (the general population calls that a "stay-at-home" mother) before I returned to a previous client as a brand consultant twice a week.

The rest of the week, I spent with Bodie, who was just six months old at the time. Then, I started Mother Untitled when Bodie turned one and have been building this brand alongside raising him and his younger sister Lyla. Like anything, there are pros and cons to each of these scenarios, but I can say with confidence that I grew in each of them.

Mother Untitled is designed to represent all women who are choosing to make conscious shifts in their career and lifestyle to be able to give more time and energy to family life. But I recognize there's a great deal of pressure on mothers in seeing women finding flexible work or starting their own businesses, and I want to be crystal clear that there is immense growth and opportunity in the full pause, too. Life is a long game and thoughtful pauses can be an asset.  

Beyond the incredible amount of development that naturally happens while raising children (time management, ruthless prioritization, discipline, and empathy to name a few), I encountered four areas to consider during this chapter that drive self-growth.  

Embrace New Relationships with Other SAHMs

Far and away, the best "networking" I’ve ever done has been during my full pause and since then, when I’m home with my children. Being a mother is disarming in itself and so the number of genuine connections and conversations I made and continue to make on the playground, in classes, and playspaces is bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced, even in business school which is considered a mecca for relationship building. 

It's such an interesting exercise to use a pause to learn from different women about their paths, industries, and interests. This previous Another Mother Her Way (Julia) talks how one of those early friendships during her own pause led her to a current fulfilling role. 

Being a mother is disarming in itself and so the number of genuine connections and conversations I make on the playground, in classes, and playspaces is bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced.

Make Wellness a Priority For Yourself

Making room for motherhood also means making room for yourself. It's not as simple or straightforward when you don't have another caregiver, but I've met so many women who have used this time in their life to become more attuned to their body and needs. 

As we care for our kids’ health and environments we seem to naturally grow more aware of what we're intaking ourselves. Of the 200+ women I've met across the country, over 90 percent mentioned being more conscious of what they need to do to keep themselves feeling whole so they can show up better for their kids.

Focus on Education Through Community

This is a super interesting one, especially as communal workspaces and community gathering grounds become a fixture in the motherhood circuit. The Soho House and The Wing, two workspaces where I'm most connected, host frequent talks, panels, and mixers on everything from wellness to creativity to general culture and more. HeyMama, FashionMamas, and Mindr host loads of speakers on a variety of topics and industries with kids welcome. 

It can be daunting to show up to new places, but the idea of everyone in the room being a mother is powerful and comforting. If naptimes and bedtimes conflict with in-person events, which they honestly often do for me, or you don't live in close proximity to some of these options, there are more interesting online learning tools than ever before to keep you plugged in to your industry, creative interests, or general culture. I like General Assembly as an option for online coursework.  

Some women use this time to get back into hobbies that they've forgotten or have been eager to try. For me, that was writing and content, which led me here. These two AMHW's (Marissa and Olivia) talked about how using their time focusing on the early years of parenting allowed them to develop hobbies that ultimately led them to a community and small business.

Set Intentions for This Time Period

Most compelling to me is using this time in our lives as a natural reset. The world moves so fast, especially in the United States, and until I became a mother there weren't too many junctures to stop and think and surround yourself with good energy to figure out what comes next. 

Anyone who's been following along with Mother Untitled for a while knows that I think this chapter can be an incredible gift if we have the privilege and choose to enjoy it. It can be easy letting it go by because we're so worried about what comes next (I've been there). But space, if you embrace it, can actually let you be more mindful of where and how you spend your time and what makes you fulfilled.

Whether it's your partner, a best friend or a journal, consider monitoring your feelings and interests as they evolve during this time.  You never know where it will lead.