Caitlin Fisher | On Turning Down A Dream Job And Finding A Path To Connection Alongside Motherhood
by Neha Ruch
Caitlin Fisher has classic lady-like taste, visible on her popular lifestyle blog and gorgeous Instagram, but her take on motherhood and balance is as modern as it gets. After graduating from Stanford, she stayed in California to build her career in merchandising and fashion. After having her daughter, Grace (who just turned one!), just 18 months after having her son, Beau, Caitlin had to reconcile a coveted job opportunity with her want for more time and space to be with her children. Read about her challenging choice and creative path that keeps her impactful in the industry while letting her fully embrace motherhood.
How did you change after becoming a mother?
I like to think that in becoming a mother I haven’t changed, but instead become a better version of myself. The core nature of who I am is the same but my life is clearly re-prioritized in the best way around my two little ones. I have learned it is imperative to trust my gut, because someone else’s life depends on it. I am stronger, wiser, and infinitely happier with them in my life.
What choices did you make to accommodate motherhood? Would you make them again?
I went back to work full time for a year after having my son, Beau. However, after having my daughter, Grace (who is just 18 months younger) my heart ached at the thought of missing more of those early years that go by so quickly. For me personally, there was nothing more important that being with my children everyday. However, I was still extremely passionate about my career and everything I felt I had worked so hard for my entire life. I was determined to find a balance between the two.
Thus, after having Grace, I decided to turn down a promotion as the Director of Merchandising at the children’s clothing brand, Janie & Jack. It was a company I loved and a title I had worked my entire career for. It was most certainly one of the most agonizing decisions I have ever made, but one I have never regretted for a second. And very serendipitously, at that same time (it’s amazing how timing is everything!) I was offered a unique opportunity to work part time in a very flexible arrangement for a designer I had long admired, Katie Ermilio.
Now, between caring for my children full-time, working for Katie, and continuing my blog, I have never been happier or more fulfilled.
Describe yourself as a mother in 3 words. What kind of mother would you like to be?
Devoted, Loving, Proud
Above all, I’d love to be the type of mother whose unconditional love makes her children feel supported, encouraged, and safe in all that they do. I hope to help guide them to be the best version of themselves through my own positive example.
How do you take care of yourself outside of motherhood?
This is something I really need to work on! My husband is constantly pushing me to take more time for myself (Yes, he’s a keeper!) There is nothing I love more on a Sunday morning than a peaceful Pilates class and coffee by myself, but I would be lying if I said I did that every week. Something else that is very important to me and my well-being is being social and making time for my husband and friends. Whether it’s a dinner date with my husband or wine with the girls, getting out reminds me that I’m ‘Caitlin’ and not just ‘Mommy’.
Every mother needs help to find balance. What does your village look like?
It most certainly takes a village! And I have so many people in mine that I am eternally grateful for. First, would be my incredible husband, who works tirelessly so that I am able to stay home with the children, but is also the most wonderful hands-on father. We are blessed to have two large loving families, who are not all physically close, but provide us with endless support and love (And amazing grandparents who are always up for babysitting!). Another vital part of our village is our dear friends. We are truly fortunate to have made so many friends in San Francisco who are going through this same stage of life. Being able to share parenthood with them makes it all the more fun and rewarding.
And of course without the wonderful babysitters and our old nanny (who is still like a member of the family), where would all the date nights, work trips, and social functions be?
What are you working on improving about yourself as a woman & a mother?
Apart from learning to take better care of myself (as mentioned above!), something I am constantly striving to be better about is being more ‘unplugged’ when I am with my children. Because my work life and home life is all very fluid it is sometimes difficult for me to resist the urge to look at my phone when I am with them and quickly respond to an email. As mothers, we all become masters at multi-tasking, but I am focusing on being more present in whatever I am doing. I typically get most of my work and blogging done when my children are napping (thank goodness that are usually great nappers!) or when they have gone to bed for the night and I’m doing my best to put my phone away as much as I can between then!
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